The Associate Distress Jeopardy
by Princess Shania
Summary: Howard and Bernadette's marriage is in trouble. One is in steadily increasing danger from the other and neither wishes to abandon their spouse. Will their friends realise this and help them before it's too late? Warning: Contains domestic violence ( which will never be revealed in full detail,ever) Pairings: Leonard/Penny and Shamy. Please review!
1. Chapter 1

**OK, this is going to be a sensitive issue. It's going to be focusing on domestic violence between Howard and Bernadette. It's been a thought I've been considering for a while, especially with the past storyline of Corrie. So here it is and if you guys don't like it,just say the word and I'll delete it and you'll never hear from it again. Here we go.**

"Howie,is that you?" Bernadette called.

"Yes!" He called back,shutting the door. She came into the living room, a blue towel around her. They kissed in greeting and then he smiled hopefully at her.

"No."

"Come on, Bernie. You know it doesn't take that long with me..."

"Stop it!" She giggled,elbowing him. "You should shower too."

"Why?"

"We're going to my parents."

" 're going to your parents, I'm going to HALO."

"No,silly. I told you, we're going to my parent's tonight."

"You never told me..." He stopped. She was beginning to look really,really pissed off.

"Howard," she said in an uncharacteristically cold voice. "I'm not in the mood for 're going to my parents', so get your ass in the shower!"

"But..."

FLUMP!

Bernadette was shorter than Howard was, but she was angry now and without thinking, swung upwards and caught the side of his head, almost knocking the engineer over in her annoyed strength.

"Ow! Jesus..."

Bernadette blinked upwards at him. Had she just done that? To the man she loved so very much? She'd hurt him! She didn't know what to do. She was afraid that if she apologized, he wouldn't forgive her, that he'd say "bite me" and leave her.

"I'm sorry,Bernie." He choked felt terrible. Not only had she full-force walloped her husband, but he blamed himself for it.

"No, it wasn't your fault." She softly reached out and patted his arm. "I had a really crappy day at work. I'm sorry,Howie, I shouldn't have hit you. Will you forgive me?"

"Yeah." He released his head and accepted the tentatively offered hug from his wife.

The drive to and back from the Rostenkowski's was quiet, with the exception of the occasional "You OK?" from one of the duo to the other. Both wondered if they'd ever forget this and the massive guilt it produced for both of them.

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"I can't believe you missed HALO!" Sheldon complained.

"I'm sorry. I had to visit my in-laws with Bernadette."

It was the following Monday. He and Bernadette had forgotten the punch. There had been a bruise left, though and it had gained the attention of his work buddies in the engineering department. Luckily, the guys hadn't noticed. Or so he thought.

"What the hell happened to your head?" Leonard asked, frowning at the dark mark on the non-physicist's head.

"Oh, I got it caught in a door."

"How'd you manage that?" Raj asked.

"You guys know what what a klutz I am."

That shut them up. Any further questions about his injury were stopped by Leslie Winkle appearing with the sole intention of calling Sheldon "dumbass" and insulting his work.

"I do not like that woman." Sheldon announced, watching her walk off.

"Really? I thought she was your favourite person ever." Leonard told him, snarkily.

"Sarcasm?"

"Yes." Leonard sighed.

**Damn it all.I feel like I'm doing this all horribly. The thing is,I know there will be people saying "WTH!" I haven't written a fanfic in at least 5 months, so I'm rusty and I'm in virgin territory doing a domestic violence fic. ****It's just I think Bernie could hurt Howard if she put her mind to it and** I'm counting on you guys to let me know whether or not this is good. So, please review! And,yes, Howard was hoping for sex.

**Love Shania xxxx**


	2. The Wine Bottle Battering

The punch was never talked about again. It was just a blip in their marriage, a one-off that both hoped wouldn't happen again. The bruises eventually faded and over the span of three weeks, so did the memory. It was too good to last.

"Howie, will you record the new episode of America's Next Top Models for me?"

Howard hadn't been listening, trying to explain to his mother how to switch on her new television, but he nodded and mouthed "Yeah, yeah" to her in reply. She kissed the top of his head, and he squeezed her hand in a silent 'goodbye' before sighing in an exasperated manner and saying, "Just push the button, Ma. Push it like it's the popcorn setting on the microwave." She giggled at him before walking out.

Four hours later, she was back. She'd had a very long boring meeting with her bosses and her lab was going to experience cuts. She was pretty pissed off and just wanted to snuggle down with Howie, right after she had a glass of wine and watched the new episode of America's Next Top Models. She could see the light coming from their room and peeking in, saw he was reading one of those weird books J.R.R Tolkien had written. She smiled. He looked so cute when he found something interesting. She walked to the fridge and brought out a bottle of red wine and filled a glass. She then wandered to the sofa, set down her glass and began flicking through the recorded programs.

Huh. Funny. Today's episode wasn't there. But he'd said he was going to record it for her. He must have done it. Frustrated , she stabbed at the button, trying to find it. She couldn't. Furiously, she realized that the stupid jerk hadn't recorded it.

"HOWARD!" Bernadette screamed.  
In the bedroom, Howard nearly jumped out of his skin at his wife's call. Worrying that she'd gotten hurt, he ran to the living room. He was relieved to see that she looked fine. But she also looked mad. Why was she mad?

"Bernadette, are you OK?"

"YOU _ IDIOT_! HOW COULD YOU HAVE _FORGOTTEN_ TO RECORD WHAT I _ ASKED_ YOU TO RECORD? ARE YOU _STUPID_?"

"I'm sorry, it just..."

"Shut up! I've had a hell of a couple of hours, pal, and all you've been doing is playing Assassin's Creed! All I wanted to do was relax and watch America's Next Top Models, but_,_ _ no_! You decided to forget it!"

"Bernie, I'm really sorry. Is there a repeat on tomorrow?"

There was, but now she was too angry to care. Growling in annoyance, she snatched up the forgotten wine bottle and swung it at him. This time she really did knock him off his feet. He yelped in pain and clutched his side where she'd hit him. She'd not put the top back on and the red wine was spilled on their carpet. The mess infuriated Bernadette even further and she began lashing out on her defenseless husband with the green bottle, while he just held his arms above his head and waited for it to be over.

Eventually, she stopped and went to their bedroom, slamming the door shut. After regaining his breath, Howard got up, slowly and collapsed on the sofa. He felt physically sick. Who knew little Bernadette possessed that kind of strength? Why was he such a bad husband? He'd promised himself he would never make her sad or angry. That he would never be like his father. A stab of pain crashed through him and he gasped, curling up. His father had hit him while drunk a couple of times. But this was different. This was all his fault.

The next day, Bernadette announced she was going shopping with Penny and Amy. He was free to do what he wanted. She was cold and distant and he was too afraid of angering her again to make amends with her about the wine bottle incident. When they got into 2311 Los Robles, however, she was all sunlight and smiles. He played along with her, thankful she hadn't walloped his face with the bottle, which would surely have raised questions. He just wanted to curl up on the couch and hang out with his buddies. But then Amy started pestering Sheldon to come shopping too. Sheldon refused, saying he only went shopping when necessary and seeing as he had all the food, clothes, water and hygienic products he needed, he wasn't going to go. Then Amy suggested going into game shops. He liked that and then Raj asked Sheldon to ask the girls if he could come too. They agreed, seeing as he was fun to go shopping with.

Leonard looked at Howard desperately. He was always on the prowl to get brownie points from Penny for being such a good boyfriend and being her shopping pal would get him brownie points almost at the speed of light. Cursing his soft nature, he looked at Bernadette.

"Can we come too?" Howard asked.

"OK." She said, sweetly. She wasn't angry, Howard saw with relief. Now all he had to worry about was getting through this shopping trip.

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So far, so good. Bernadette had found a pair of ripped jeans she wanted him to try on, so he'd gone into a dressing room to try them on. He as shocked by his stomach. It was _black_ with bruises. No wonder he was hurting so badly. He couldn't stop staring at them.

"Sheldon, sweetie, go and check on Howard." Penny asked the physicist. Leonard and Raj were trying on clothes as were Bernadette and Amy and she didn't want to go into the men's changing rooms. Sighing that he was being asked to do such a mundane task, Sheldon went.

Howard jumped violently as the curtains tore apart. He was calmed upon seeing it was only Sheldon, until the PhD holder's eyes went wide with shock at the bruising on his stomach.

"Howard, what happened?"

Howard snatched up his shirt, covering himself, and glared at Sheldon.

"Nothing." Sheldon looked uncovincedly down at him.

"It doesn't matter, OK?"

"Howard..." Sheldon began. Then he stopped. He'd seen bruising like that on his mother and himself too. Bruising like that only came from glass objects in his experience and from abuse. He had a suspicion that all was not well in the Rostenkowski-Wolowitz household. He also knew that Howard was not the type to lash out, especially not at women and he knew Howard would be upset at him if he handled this badly and he didn't want to be on the receiving end of Howard's silent treatment. He was already annoyed at Amy who'd promised him a fun day out and didn't want to add annoying a close friend to the list of things that had ruined his day. Then it hit him. He'd ak Amy to help him. His fellow scientist always knew how to help him out.

"If you ever want to talk about anything..."

Howard nodded vigorously, eager to get the conversation over. Sheldon mumbled that Penny had wanted him to come out so they could see what the jeans looked like and backed out. Howard sighed and sat on the little bench in the cubicle. Suddenly, he grabbed his cell, tapping out a message to Sheldon.

_Don't tell anyone_

_Why? Sheldon replied._

Howard didn't know how to answer. In the end he typed out

_What you saw isn't important_

Sheldon grimaced,reading the text. He'd already texted Amy to tell her he had something he needed to discuss with her. He decided not to tell Howard this and typed out

_OK_

Wolowitz was probably telling the truth. But Sheldon had a feeling that this was not the case.

**I don't own anything. The only thing I own is this fanfic. Hope you liked it and please review!  
Love from **


	3. The Confidante Confidence

Amy watched her boyfriend pace around. She had never seen Sheldon act this way and it worried her a little bit.

"Sheldon, whatever's bothering you, you can tell me. In fact our Relationship Agreement states that when one party is unhappy, the other must do something to relieve the feeling."

"I know, I know." Sheldon muttered. Finally he sighed and sat in his spot next to Amy.

"It's Howard."

"Has he been in another of your spots again?"

"No, he hasn't been near any of my spots." Sheldon fidgeted, before saying, "It's about Howard and Bernadette."

"Are they alright? Will I have to dig out my maid-of-honour dress in the future?"

"Oh, Amy, it was earlier today in the shopping mall..."

Amy didn't show emotion to Sheldon very often, but her face went from neutral to horrified as Sheldon told her the story. Telling it to her, he confided in her, something he'd never even told Leonard.

"My father drank a lot. He'd beat either my mother or me with his empty bottles. It was painful seeing what had happened to Wolowitz. My chest tightened, but it wasn't an asthma attack. He's my tertiary friend. I don't want him to be hurt like I was."

While explaining this to Amy, he felt a hot, prickling pain in his eyes. He felt as helpless as when he was a young child, being hurt or watching his mother being hurt by the giant of a man George Cooper had seemed. Amy cautiously put her arms around Sheldon. She felt terribly sad for her boyfriend, but knew she had to stay strong for him. Eventually Sheldon straightened up.

"Thank you." He always seemed so ashamed of showing human feelings. There was no doubt in the neurobiologist's mind that his father was to blame for that.

"It's OK." She reassured him.

"What do we do? Right now, Howard could be lying in a pool of his own blood."

"I'm sure he's not. We'll think of something. Perhaps a mind map will help us."

"Good thinking. Now, what should we start with?"

"Reasons for bruising. If we go to Bernadette and it's a mistake, it could have negative repercussions."

"Yes. Now.."

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Howard wasn't lying in a pool of his own blood. He had just showered and was dabbing his stomach dry. The door opened and Bernadette froze upon seeing her husband's markings. Her face crumpled and she ran out. Howard pulled a shirt on and went after her. She was lying on their bed, sobbing broken - heartedly into the pillow.

"Bernie, please don't cry." Howard said to her, awkwardly. He wasn't exactly good at comforting people at the best of times and he was a little afraid she'd hit him again. She continued weeping.

"Please, Bernie, I'm sorry."

"It's not you who should be sorry." Bernadette told him through her crying. Howard climbed onto the bed and made his way to her and gave her a hug. She clung to him and snuffled against his chest. Eventually, she calmed down enough to talk to him properly.

"I don't know why or how I can do this to you. I'm sorry, Howie. I'm so sorry!"

"Oh, Bernie. You didn't mean to. You were mad. It's understandable."

"It's no excuse to hit people. Nobody deserves to get hit, ever."

"I forgive you. Just please don't hit me again."

"I won't hit you again. I promise. I'm sorry."

"It's OK."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Bernie."

He kissed her head and she snuggled against him. They didn't let go for a long time.

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"Well, I can't understand it." Amy said, giving up.

"Neither can I." Sheldon told her.

They stared at the board, before Amy turned to Sheldon.

"We need help. Perhaps Penny or Leonard..."

"I don't know. Penny would go crazy and Leonard would probably go into 'I - blame - myself' mode."

"We need help. They are two of the more...sociable people we know."

"I suppose. You can ask."

"Fine. Come on, let's go and ask them."

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Penny and Leonard had just finished watching a movie. They were drinking white wine during it and both were relaxed. They started kissing and things were going reasonably well, until...

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Penny and Leonard."

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Penny and Leonard!"

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Penny and Leonard!"

Both groaned. They liked Sheldon very much, but sometimes they wanted to kill him.

"Yes?" Penny asked, not very politely, as she answered the door.

"We have a problem." Sheldon told her.

"Read the book!" Leonard called.

"Not that kind of problem!"

"It's about Howard and Bernadette." Amy explained to the annoyed couple. They looked less annoyed at that.

"What about them?" Leonard asked.

"It's gonna sound bad, but..."

**I know, I know. I'm pure evil for what I'm putting Howie through and I'm even worse for ending on a cliffhanger! Thank you wonderful people for your equally great reviews! 5mississipis, nertooold54, shadyatem, and my first reviewer, monkeyleaf, I'm taking to you and anyone else who is wiling to take a few minutes to review! I hope this had good shamy for you, Shadyatem and all you other shamy fans. And if there's any Lenny fans out there, I had a bit of Lenny in there too, idk if you noticed. Well, I have to go! Hope you enjoyed it, guys and guyettes!**

**Love, Shania**


	4. The Friendship Intercession

"You think Bernadette's beating up Howard?" Penny asked.

"Well, yes. Think about it, the bruising, the silent aura he had yesterday, the tension between him and Bernadette.." Sheldon began to explain. Leonard held up a hand to stop him.

"I don't know. Bernadette gets mad, but I don't think she's hurting Howard."

"Well, how do you explain the bruising?" Amy quizzed him.

"Maybe he fell over."

The other three people gave him strange looks.

"It could be! Penny, what do you think?"

"I think..."

She was interrupted by a knock on the door. Amy opened it and Raj poked his head in, looking confused. He'd been told to come over to play WoW at Leonard and Sheldon's and had found them to not be there. Penny pointed at the fridge.

"There's a little bit of wine in there."

Raj smiled gratefully and went to get it.

"What's going on?" he asked after drinking the small amount that had been left in the bottle.

"These guys think Bernadette's beating up Howard."

"_What?!_"

"There was bruising!" Sheldon snapped. He could tell they weren't taking him seriously and he didn't like it.

"He might have bumped into something." Penny said.

"Oh, bestie. He wouldn't have had such dark bruising if he'd bumped into something."

"Maybe it was during sex." Raj pointed out. Everyone ignored this.

"OK, say we accept your hypothesis and he is getting beaten up. What do we do?" Leonard asked his roommate.

"Leonard, duh! We intervene." Penny scoffed.

"When?" Raj asked.

"Now. Come on, we have to nip it in the bud before it screws up their marriage." Penny told them, standing up.

"Whose car?" Amy wanted to know.

"Leonard's. Penny's probably still failed to get the 'check engine' light checked." Sheldon decided. Penny rolled her eyes at him. He really was a whackadoodle.

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"Guys?"

"Yeah,Raj?" Penny answered.

"If he is getting beat up, why didn't he tell us?"

"I don't know, sweetie." Penny told him.

"It was most likely loyalty to Bernadette. He loves her and doesn't want her to be ashamed or sad." Sheldon told him.

"Wow. How'd you guess that?" Leonard asked him.

"Past experience." Sheldon replied, shortly.

The car trip was silent following that.

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Howard liked to lie against Bernadette's chest sometimes. It made him feel safe and loved, especially with her arms wrapped around him. He didn't make a habit of it because he was afraid he might be too heavy for her. And it wasn't very manly. She didn't seem to mind, though. They'd only just fallen asleep when:

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Howard and Bernadette!"

Both jumped and lay frozen, clinging onto each other. Upon realizing that it was just Sheldon, they relaxed.

"Oh, God..." Bernadette yawned.

"Just pretend we're not here."

"We know you're in there!" Penny called.

Seeing now that they had no choice, they got out of bed and pulled their dressing robes on and went to answer the door.

"You didn't invite them over, did you?" Howard asked Bernadette.

"No. And not at this time I wouldn't have." She replied.

"I only just got to sleep." He told her.

"I know, honey."

"What do you guys want?" Howard asked them, sleepily.

"We're staging an intervention." Amy announced.

"On what?" Bernadette asked.

There was an awkward silence, during which, the 5 visitors looked at each other for advice.

"Come on guys. We're tired, we have work tomorrow, it's late. Just say what it is, so we can go back to sleep." Howard pleaded.

"Will you guys sit down first, please?" Leonard asked them. They couch looked so comfortable, they were only too glad to do so.

"We think you're battering your husband." Amy told Bernadette.

Bernadette gasped. Not through shock, but from how...horrible it sounded. How had she become a husband batterer? Howard looked concernedly st her and then confusedly toward his friends.

"You've thought wrong. There isn't any husband battering going on."

"Really?" Leonard asked him.

"Yes!"

"Howa do you explain your belly bruising then?" Raj demanded.

"It's none of your business what goes on around my belly! Look, nobody's battering any-"

"Howie."

He looked at his wife. She looked so depressed it hurt him.

"Yeah?"

She looked him in the eye. "We should tell the truth."

"Why?"

"Because you don't deserve what's going on."

"What's going on?" Penny asked.

"I've hit him. The first time was three weeks ago. I hit him on his head and he got bruised."

"You said you got your head caught in a door." Sheldon reminded Howard. The engineer nodded, looking down at his lap.

"The second time was on the night before we went shopping together."

"Yes, what did you hit him with? It looked like a bottle to me." Sheldon asked her. Bernadette shut her eyes. When she opened them, tears slid out of her eyes.

"It was a bottle. And I didn't just hit him...I beat him!" She started sobbing, feeling more regret and remorse for the action than she had felt for the past couple of days. Howard put his arms around her and held her. She gripped his forearms and leaned against him.

"Howard, why didn't you tell us?" Raj wanted to know.

"Because I was worried you guys might be mad at Bernadette and it wasn't her fault..."

Yes it was." Bernadette whispered.

"No, it wasn't. You got mad, it's not your fault. And I didn't want to admit we'd hit a rough patch. Sorry, Bernie."

"It is a rough patch." Gazing at him, she cried out, "and you got the roughest of it!"

"Well,what are you gonna do?" Penny questioned them.

"I don't know." Bernadette admitted, wiping her streaming eyes.

"Me neither." Howard replied.

"What about a trial separation?" Amy suggested. Bernadette looked thoughtful. Howard looked horrified

"No way! My parents tried it and my dad liked it so much..." He stopped his sentence there.

"Sorry. It just seems it might be a good idea to help this thing to cool off."

"Yeah, well. We're not separating."

"Have you tried discussing it with each other?" Leonard asked.

"No." Bernadette sighed.

"We kinda just hope it doesn't happen again."

"You should. Communication is very important in marriage." Raj told them.

"Just for the record, if you guys do decide to go for a trial separation, what happened to Howard's parents has a very slight chance of happening to you. In fact, for most couples..."

"Yeah, we get it." Howard interrupted. He ran a hand through his floppy brown hair before continuing. "We'll keep it as a last option, alright?"

"Fine."

"Will you guys be OK?" Penny asked.

"Yeah." Bernadette replied, squeezing Howard's hand. He smiled at her and nodded.

"OK. Do you want some privacy to talk about it?"

"Yeah."

"We'll get going, then. Remember to talk to each other, alright?" Leonard said to them.

"We will." They promised.

When all the goodbyes had been said and the apartment was bereft of visitors, they looked at each other, unsure how to start.

"Am I a bad husband?"

"No. Am I a bad wife?"

"God, no. Can I ask what's been bothering you?"

"I don't know, Howie. It just seems that everything's making me angry. I'm calm one moment and the next I'm.. hurting you. And it's horrible of me, but when the feeling comes, I just can't stop it."

Howard was quiet. He seemed to be thinking.

"Bernie?"

"Hmm?"

"You.. haven't had your period yet, have you?"

"How do you know?"

"When I went to get deodorant this morning out of the cabinet, I saw your packet of...stuff and it hadn't been opened. And you bought it like 2 months ago."

"You're right. It hasn't come yet."

"Oh my God. Could...could you be...?"

"Pregnant?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know. Maybe. I mean, I missed my period and the mood swings..I've even been putting on weight."

"You have? Where?"

"Oh, my God, Howie!"

She clutched his hand tightly and looked excitedly into his dark blue eyes.

"We could be having a baby!"

**Even I wasn't expecting that. I was just typing away and then BAM! it hit me. Bernadette could be pregnant! What do you think?I'm sorry I couldn't fit in Howard and Sheldon friendship moments, but I'll fit it in next chapter, where I'm planning on getting the boys together and the girls together. And then in another chapter or two, we'll find out if Bernie's pregnant or not! Don't forget to review, I want your input on this. Thanks for reading!  
Love Shania. xx**


	5. The Gestation Revelation

"I'm afraid I have bad news."

The short duo looked in concern at the doctor.

"I'm afraid it was a false pregnancy."

"A false pregnancy?" Howard repeated, glancing at his wife's belly.

"Yes. Dr. Wolowitz exhibited symptoms which were similar to pregnancy, but were not a result of carrying a child. I'm very sorry."

"So, I was never pregnant?"

"No."

"Oh. Right."

Howard cupped Bernadette's hand in his own. She lightly rubbed his thumb with hers and sighed sadly.

"Thank you, Doctor." The microbiologist whispered in a very small voice. Trembling, she got up and walked out of the office. There was silence in the drive back home. When they got back, that changed rapidly. She walked into the apartment and nearly collapsed. Howard supported her, but he wasn't the strongest of men and wound up kneeling on the floor, holding her as she sobbed on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Howie!"

"Don't. You can't help it."

"It's just...I know it never existed, but it feels like we've lost a baby."

"I know." He rubbed his head against hers and held her closer. "I know."

She hugged him tightly. The knowledge that he was feeling pain over this too comforted her. At least they had each other for support.

"I love you."

"I love you more. We'll be OK, honey."

"I know."

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"I thought you said Bernadette took like 5 pregnancy tests?" Raj asked.

"She did. Two came up negative, one didn't show a result up at all and the last one was positive."

Leonard touched his shoulder sympathetically.

"I'm sorry, buddy."

"It's alright. I mean, it sucks, but at least it wasn't a real baby, you know?"

"Yeah."

"You guys can always try again." Raj told him, trying to cheer his best friend up.

"Yeah, I know..."

"You know, false pregnancies are pretty common in women with hormonal imbalances." Sheldon informed him helpfully.

"Bernadette does not have imbalanced hormones. Look, she's really upset, so don't tell her that." Howard replied.

"Alright."

Somehow, he was the first to arrive at the apartment complex. He'd gotten a text from Leonard about Sheldon being a crazy jackass, which explained why he wasn't there , but he didn't know where Raj had gotten to. He walked in, surprising Penny, who clutched a carton of milk to her chest in alarm.

"Hey. It's just me." Howard told her, jokingly holding his hands in the air."

"Sorry. I thought you were Sheldon." She took a slurp from the carton.

"He would flip out if he saw you doing that."

"Yeah. Leonard texted me about the baby."

Howard didn't answer. He didn't like thinking about the baby. He would never admit it, but losing that little shred of hope was killing him inside. He'd always wanted a kid.

"Howard?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. It must really suck." She rubbed his arm. Then dropped the carton.

"Oh, crap!"

Squatting beside Penny to help her clean up the mess, he focused on the white liquid slowly expanding around the carton. He'd read about breastfeeding in an article and it had a fact in it. He racked his brains trying to think what it was and suddenly it hit him.

"Some animals will breastfeed young that isn't theirs if the mother is dead or can't do it herself."

"I know. You see a lot of weird stuff growing up on a farm."

" I spent an hour talking to Bernadette's stomach, cos I loved it so much."

"I know. Leonard told me."

She put her wad of tissue to one side and looked at him. She didn't really know what to say. Her sister and brother had had kids without a hitch. He sat back and crossed his legs.

"It really sucks. Feels like I've been cheated out of a baby. It's so wrong."

"I know. I'm sorry."

He sighed. He looked so damned miserable, Penny couldn't stand it. She shot forward and crushed him into a hug. He was quiet until,

"What are you doing?"

"What do you think? Apart from pity sex, nothing comforts people better than a hug." Penny replied knowledgably.

"Or a hot beverage."

"Shut up."

They stayed hugging for a while, until the door flew open and the others came in.

"Why are you hugging in a pool of...Our milk!" Sheldon gasped.

"Sorry!"

"It was Penny."

"You jerk!"

He laughed a little bit at her expression. She smiled and grinned up at Leonard who offered her a hand in standing up. Sheldon was still fuming about the milk.

"I'm sorry. Howard'll buy you a new carton."

"Why me?"

"I hugged you."

Howard smiled and answered the door to find Bernadette, beaming up at him.

"Hi, honey." He greeted, kissing her on the cheek. Penny rushed over to give her condolences about the baby.

"How do you know?" Bernadette asked. She had not told Penny of her suspected pregnancy.

"Leonard told me." Penny replied.

"Who told you?"

"I told him." Howard explained, apologetically.

"Oh."

"Sorry..."

"No, it's fine." She gripped his arm tightly and smiled up at him. He winced slightly at her hold, but was relieved that she wasn't upset at him.

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Or so he'd thought. When she got in, she glared at him for what seemed like an eternity. until he meekly tried to apologise again.

"I can't believe you told! Do you tell him everything?!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't think..."

"You never do! You drive me crazy!"

"I'm sorry. But, Bernie, I bet you tell Amy and Penny all kinds of stuff about us."

"Don't blame this on me, Wolowitz!"

Howard decided that he'd better not mention that she was a Wolowitz too. He wished he'd not said anything to anyone now. It had been stupid, to tell without asking her if she'd be OK with it.

She took a few steps towards him, glowering up into his eyes. He reached for her hand, to try and let her know how he regretted not holding his tongue about the baby, when she shot forward and pushed him. He knocked into the telephone, pressing several digits accidentally and looked, terror-struck at his wife's livid face...

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It was peaceful. Amy had come over and was sitting next to Sheldon, holding onto his hand when she thought he wouldn't notice. Penny was sitting on Leonard's lap,playing with his hands as she absent-mindedly watched Summer Glau. Amy was leaning against Sheldon, who was pointedly ignoring this in a hope to get her to stop. The phone rang suddenly, making all four jump. Penny seized the phone, glad to be able to get her eyes away from the Terminator.

"Hey." She greeted

"Ow!"

Penny stiffened. _Oh God, no.._

"Bernie, stop! Stop it, it hurts!"

A sound of a kick. Penny gasped. Leonard took the phone off her, looking concerned, and pressed it to his ear, before paling.

"What's the matter?" Amy questioned, seeing their expressions.

"Everything's the _matter."_ Sheldon smirked.

"She's hurting him again." Leonard explained, helping Penny off his lap before standing.

"What?" Amy asked, looking appalled.

"Who's hurting who?" Sheldon quizzed.

"Bernadette's hitting Howard again. Come on, we have to go there." Penny told him.

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As Bernadette threw her fist at him again, Howard concluded that he really had to man up. He caught her hand and yelped as her foot connected with his knee.

"Shut up!"

"Why are you so mad?!"

"I don't know!" She roared.

"Stop hitting!"

"Let me go!"

"No, you'll hit again."

"Good!"

Howard looked into her fiery blue eyes. He loved her but he didn't want to fight anymore. He turned sideways and pulled himself to the safety of the couch.

"Where are you going?!"

"I'm leaving."

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**Oooh! :O. Looks like Howard's been pushed too far now. But will he stay with Bernie or will he leave her forever? The last chapter was pretty crap, so I made this one as a (hopefully better) replacement. Reviews and constructive criticism are very welcome and always will be. BTW, animals will adopt orphaned young if they have none of their own and false pregnanices are very real. So no bashing for getting facts wrong! Unless I did. Then bash away. Thanks for reading, dudes and dudettes!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	6. The Aid Support Occurrence

**Something I should have mentioned. Bernadette and Howard were pretty much bellowing at each other last chapter. We all know how loud those two can shout, so I think I can get away with it when I tell you that the other two couples were outside Howard and Bernadette's apartment complex. Secondly, I don't think that Howard and Bernadette live on the higher floors in their complex. Moving on! **

There was a silence. Bernadette looked shocked. Then she quietly sat down on their couch, biting her lip. Howard wanted to cuddle her, promise her he'd stay, but the fact was he couldn't. He'd seen many a soap opera and read many a newspaper where a woman or a man who was being beaten up wound up dying. He genuinely didn't think Bernadette would kill him, but it wasn't a chance he wanted to take. Silently, he slowly walked to their bedroom.

He grabbed a bag and threw a couple of T-shirts and jeans in. He wasn't really thinking straight. It was late September, there was a thunder storm forecast for later in the week, and he was putting stuff he wore in summer in his bag. When he went to the living room to say goodbye to Bernadette, he noticed she wasn't there. A look towards the kitchen area told him she wasn't in that vicinity either. Looking at the key bowl, he saw her car keys were gone. She'd obviously gone out. He spied a notepad and scrawled out a message to her. Saying about how he loved her and that he'd like to meet up soon because he really didn't want to lose her. He picked up a photo that had been taken of her on their wedding day. He'd insisted on having one of just her. She'd laughed and called him 'adorable', but had obliged. He made some space in his bag and placed it there.

The walk to his car seemed to take forever. He'd taken the elevator down and the sluggish, sombre music had only slowed down time. He got into his car and tried to pull himself together. He and Bernie were not breaking up. _This was just a blip, they would be OK._ He told himself this, over and over, but he couldn't believe it anymore. When the tears came, he didn't try to stop them.

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"Wow," said Amy, looking around at the empty apartment. "He's gone. I can't believe it."

"OK, I think we should try and find him." Penny told the others. The doctors looked at her blankly.

"What?"

"Well, where do we start?" Sheldon quizzed her.

"We'll go to where he parks his car and see if he's still around. If not, we go to Plan B."

"What's Plan B?" Leonard asked as he followed her out the door.

"Ring his cell till he's forced to answer."

"Why can't that be Plan A?" Sheldon inquired. Penny rolled her eyes and shot back, "Because he needs us, alright? He needs people around him."

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He missed her already. It had only been, maybe 20 minutes since he'd left, and his chest felt squeezed. He'd dug out the picture and was cradling it, wishing it was her. The tears had stopped long ago. He was just thinking about where the hell he could go, when he saw blonde hair. He looked up, hoping it was Bernie, despite everything. He felt disappointed, yet oddly relieved, to see it was Penny. He put down the picture and opening the door, got out to say hello.

Penny inspected the engineer closely. He was hurting, she could see that just by glancing into his eyes. She didn't know what to say. What could be said to someone who'd just done what he'd sworn never to do because he felt so unsafe? She wished Leonard were there. He'd know exactly what to say to Wolowitz. Why had that woman decided to ask Sheldon of all people where the nearest Cineplex was?

"Hey, um...we know what just happened."

He tried to laugh it off. Him and Bernie, broken up? Perish the thought, they were fine... He couldn't keep it up, though. He sighed and leant against his car.

"Hey, come on." She pulled his arm, earning a confused stare from the Jewish man.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you're not going into a hotel. Come _on._ Have you got stuff with you?"

He nodded, suddenly too tired to argue. Not sleepy tired, just exhausted. He hauled his bag out, returned the picture to its designated space inside it, locked his car and followed Penny.

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"So?"

"So what?" Howard dully replied to the tall physicist's question.

"So, am I going to get the gravy boat ba-?"

"Sheldon!" Penny shrieked at him in horror.

"What? I just want to know if they'll remain married."

"So do we, but we're not saying things like that." Amy scolded.

"Guys, please! I don't think that's helping!" Leonard called.

"Where are we going?" Howard asked.

"...Crap, I have no idea."

"Just go over to mine, it's closer." Amy told him

"Is there a hotel near..." Howard began, only to be 'shushed' down by Penny, who was adamant he was not going anywhere near a hotel.

As they trudged up the stairs, Sheldon commented to Amy on the silence that there was without the monkey.

"I know, I miss him."

"How could you miss him? He was an animal, literally and figuratively." Sheldon replied.

"It was comforting, knowing that if an unwanted visitor were to drop in, I could set a monkey going through withdrawal symptoms on him."

"We should get a monkey." Sheldon told Leonard. This proposal was met with a shake of the head.

"Yeah, I don't think anyone would want to drop in on you, Sheldon." Penny drily informed him.

"Why not?"

Penny chose not to answer and checked her cell.

"OK, we're open." Amy told the others before her boyfriend could take it any further. Unsurprisingly Sheldon went straight to the kettle.

"He may be socially inept at times, but boy does he have a good heart." Amy commented.

The dull feeling that had been stuck to him was leaving. Instead of feeling numb, he felt pain. He felt around his face and almost recoiled at the feeling of a thick, raised scar. A glance at his hand told him he was bleeding. Yeuch. He didn't even wanted to know what the rest of him looked like. He was sore as hell. He'd really managed to piss Bernie off.

"Where does it hurt the most?"

"I don't know. Everywhere."

"Sit down. You look like you're about to pass out." Penny informed him.

He still couldn't let go of his bag. The precious photo was still inside and he didn't want to lose it. Holding it on his lap felt oddly comforting, as though he were cuddling his wife instead of a fairly sized backpack.

"Honey, we're sorry." Penny murmured.

"Don't worry. We'll sort it, Bernie and me. We'll be OK."

Penny glanced at Leonard. When his eyes met hers, she could see that he, too, agreed that Howard wasn't entirely sure about it.

"Why was she hitting you this time?" Leonard asked.

"Because I told you about the fake pregnancy."

"What?"

"She wasn't ready for you to know. I should have known that."

"You know it wasn't your fault, don't you?" Amy questioned.

"In this case it was. I should have waited for her."

"Why? It would have been your baby too." Penny pointed out.

"I still should have waited."

Penny leant back defeated. She couldn't see a way to convince him he wasn't to blame for this latest attack. Her eyes fell on Sheldon. He was looking thoughtful, like he always did before saying something smart. Hopefully, whatever he would say, would do a better job than she'd managed to do.

"I don't know why you're beating yourself up over this. Think about the chain of cause."

Penny looked at Leonard for help. His eyes were on Sheldon as if he understood what the taller man was saying and agreed with it. She figured she may as well listen and learn what it was Sheldon was saying.

"OK, first of all, you ask to invoke the Girlfriend Clause because you wanted a girl in your life. Which is perfectly natural as at one point in every man's life, he is going to want a woman to build a relationship with."

Amy looked at Sheldon, interested. Had she just heard that right? Could her 5 year plan wind up unnecessary after all?

"..Then you're introduced to Bernadette by a friend who shall remain anonymous, *cough* Penny, and things go from there. Then you both get married and two years, 4 months and 6 days later, I ask Raj if he's remembered HALO and he asks you if you're going to go. That's the night Bernadette first hurts you. I don't see how you're to blame in any of this at all."

Howard blinked. He'd never even considered blaming them. It wasn't like they could control what was going on in his marriage. And he didn't blame them because it wasn't them who'd done this. It was his crappy timing and the fact his wife was terrifying now. He blamed himself and even Sheldon's strangely good reasoning wasn't going to change that. Not wanting a lecture, he mutely nodded his head, pretending to agree. Frankly, he was too tired to argue.

Suddenly, Penny's cell interrupted the silence with a shrill note of the music. Penny glanced at the name and gasped.

"Who is it?"

"It's my agent."

"Go ahead and take it." Leonard advised her. She gave Howard an apologetic glimpse and stood outside Amy's door. Before he knew it, Howard was alone. Well, kinda. Sheldon was fiddling with the oven clock, muttering about how he'd fixed it once and did Amy think he was an electrician? Leonard had been dragged off by Amy to help tidy the spare room. Apparently, he was staying here tonight. At least Bernie wouldn't look here. As much as he loved her, he couldn't face her again tonight. The events of the night caught up to him and by the time Sheldon returned to the sitting area, the non-doctor was dead to the world.

**Yes, yes I know. I'm gonna be honest with you people here, I just wanted to give Howard some time to get to his car, so we could have friendship moment between Howard and Penny. Yes, I know I've said "he was too tired to argue" about 4 times. But frankly I'm too tired to change it! So, here it is, I hope you enjoy and please feel free to drop a review to let me know if I'm doing OK or not. Have a good week, my nerdizzles!**

**Love Shania. xx**


	7. The Love Reassurance

**Aww, thanks for your lovely reviews. Feeling truly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. As promised, I'm focusing on Shamy and Lenny this chapter. Get ready to have your hearts melted!**

**"**What an evening." Penny sighed as she flopped onto her blue couch. " What a damn evening."

"I know. I feel so bad for those guys. They really love each other."

"Exactly. It just sucks."

"Penny?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you ever been in a relationship like that?"

"No. You?"

"No."

"You never will."

He looked at her curiously. She sighed and moved closer to him to try and explain.

"I mean...I love you, you know that and I could never hurt you, because even though you're a huge pain in the ass at times, the thought of you being hurt is the worst thing ever. And if I was the one to cause you pain..."

Her throat tightened. Damn. Why did she get all weepy when making speeches like this? He put a soothing hand on her arm. She knew he'd gotten the gist, but was determined to follow it through. No matter how much mascara she lost.

".. I wouldn't be able.. to live with myself."

He put a hand on the small of her back and drew her closer to him. She reached her arms around his neck and tried to get her breathing under control. The fact that he knew she'd never hurt him comforted her more than his presence and his loving words.

"I know I'm not exactly terrifying..." She snorted through her tears. Boy, had he gotten that right.

"..But hurting you is not an option for me. Even if I was really mad, I think I'd rather break up than hit you."

She was touched. She knew how much she meant to Leonard (though he claimed she couldn't because of how much he loved her), and he was willing to put her safety over his happiness. No man had ever done that for her before. And here he was, telling her in no uncertain terms that that was what he was willing to do. For her.

She twisted around and located his lips with hers. Halfway through the kiss, she realised that she hadn't given him a response. However, if the enthusiastic reply to her unexpected smooch was anything to go by, she'd given a pretty good one.

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_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

_Ring! Ring! Ri-!_

"Hullo?"

"Sheldon, I have something to tell you."

Sheldon sat upright. Amy sounded very serious. He felt nervous as he waited for her to tell him.

"Yes?"

"I care for you very much. I also like you a lot and I want you to know that I hope you feel as safe with me as I do with you."

"Amy, of course I feel safe with you."

"Oh, good. I just wanted to be sure. Goodnight."

"Wait, wait, wait. Before you hang up, I want you to know something too."

Wondering what he could have to tell her, Amy waited.

"My father wasn't a pleasant man even when sober. I think a small part of me was worried that when I grew up, I'd be like him, because I'm not very much like my mother in terms of personality. When we first became boyfriend and girlfriend, I was terrified, I was scared I might hurt you one day. And I haven't. If it weren't for you, I'd be doubting my ability to control anger for the rest of my life. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't feel as cared for as I do. Thank you."

"Oh, God, Sheldon.."

"Oh, Lord, woman don't cry down the phone."

"I'm not sad, I'm happy!" She was. Knowing that she'd made him feel cared for made her euphoric.

"I will never understand female emotions. Amy?"

"Yes."

"Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams."

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Leonard gazed at the blonde who was sleeping, her head on his chest, smiling slightly. She was so perfect. And she loved him. She really did. And he loved her. He hadn't been joking when he'd told her he'd rather her safety over his happiness. He couldn't understand how people who claimed to love each other could hurt each other. It sounded harsh, but he just couldn't understand. Perhaps his mother could shed some light on it for him, but for now he would have to wait to ask her. He wondered if Howard had ever tried to hit Bernadette and then mentally scoffed at himself. In no way was Howard the type of person to hit a woman. In his past he could be an ass, but a woman-beater? God, no.

Cuddling Penny closer he decided to try and put it out of his mind. Insomnia was not going to help anything. Inhaling her vanilla scent, he couldn't stop himself from drifting into a dreamless sleep.

**Did I do well? Not too sure on how I did Sheldon. I watched the Love Spell Potential last night, so I used that (and the help of two wonderful authors, LizzyBethLoveShamy and 5Mississipis) for inspiration. Still not too sure about it, I have serious self-doubt when I write Sheldon. Anyway, I promised you a chapter focusing on the other two couples and here it is! Really hoped you liked it! Don't forget to R&R! Thanks for the past reviews! **

**Love from Shania. xx**


	8. The Foreign Argument Appeal

_He was running. He didn't know what from, but he knew that whatever it was it was terrifying and he needed to get away from it, he needed to find somewhere safe. It was dark, yet hot. He didn't know where he was or how he got there, but somehow he knew where he was running. There was no light ahead for a while, but then a pale glimmer showed. He ran faster, praying the light would hold, thankful beyond belief when it shone brighter and stronger the closer he got. He suddenly became aware of footsteps, running directly behind him. His legs were starting to ache, but he tried to keep going, but then he felt an vice-like grip on his right shoulder. He staggered and when he saw his follower, his dark eyes widened._

_"Bernie?"_

_Why had he been running from her? His soul mate, his best friend. Why had he been running? As soon as the thought had been released to his mind, he glanced at her and saw the anger in her eyes. She was going to kill him, he remembered. That was why he'd been running. The next thing he knew he was in darkness once more and was falling, down, down, down..._

FLUMP!

Amy awoke suddenly. She'd heard something coming from her living room- where Howard was sleeping! Grabbing her umbrella in case there were intruders, and wishing that the monkey was still there, she moved towards the living area. To her relief there were no villains, but the non-doctor had fallen off the couch. When he saw she was holding an umbrella, his eyes widened and he flinched.

_"Aww, no."_ Amy thought to herself. _"He doesn't think I'm gonna hurt him, does he?"_

"Did I wake you?"

"No." She lied, not wanting to worry him. She placed the umbrella down and went to sit by him. "I just heard a noise and thought it was something dangerous. Are you alright?"

"Yeah. What's the time?"

"Um.." She turned her head to look at the oven clock. "It's 7:30AM. How are you feeling?"

"Better."

"Did you know you duck your head when you lie?"

"No, actually."

"Tell me the truth. You can trust me."

"Yeah, I know.."

He looked at her and sighed. How was he going to explain this? How empty he felt, the still-lingering sense of terror he had because of his bad dream? How sore and achy he felt after the beating he'd had last night? He decided to sum it up in one word.

"I feel crappy."

"Can you elaborate?"

"I don't know, Amy. I'm feeling things I've never felt before. It's gonna take a while to explain."

"That's alright. I'm a very patient person."

He thought for a short while before trying to explain to the neurobiologist.

"I just feel, um, trapped. Like whatever I decide to do, it'll be the wrong decision."

"Howard, we're with you for this."

"What about Bernadette?"

"Well, we'll help her too, of course we will."

"I don't know what's happened. What have I done to her?"

"I don't think you did anything. There's just something in her past that she's upset about and she's lashing out. It's not your fault, but it might not be hers either."

"I left her a note. Do you think she got it?"

"I honestly don't know."

She hadn't even known Howard had left a note. She snatched up her cell and turned it on. There was a chance that the microbiologist had called or texted and she was curious as to what she would have to say. Howard shuffled close to her and looked at the screen.  
Nope. Nothing from Bernadette, though Sheldon had texted to let her know that he, Leonard and Penny would be over at 10AM and he'd texted Raj to ask him to meet them at hers. As if on cue, a text message came through from the astrophysicist.

_Is 10:30AM OK? BTW, what's up? S said it was v important :/ x_

_That's fine. _Amy typed_. Yeh, is kind of important. C u soon.x_

Howard pulled out his own cell and had a look. He had a text from his mom asking when he and Bernie were coming over next. He bit his lip. Just how would he explain that he was being beaten up by a woman to his mother? She didn't like it when Bernadette bossed him around, so how would she take it when she found out he'd been slapped around by his wife?

"Howard, she's your mother. She's not going to be ashamed of you."

"But.."

"No." Amy was firm in this belief, but she'd never met his mom. She didn't know her. He pointed this out, but was met by a shake of the head.

"OK, were you ever beat up by a girl in high school?"

"...Yes. Once. She pulled a handful of my hair out and punched me in my chest. I had the worst asthma attack following that."

"And what did your mom do?"

"She went bat crap crazy."

"Exactly. Look, some men get beaten up by their wives. It's not the man's fault, same as a woman getting beaten by her husband isn't the woman's fault."

"I'm just embarrassed."

"You shouldn't be."

She felt like she was being insensitive. He was sad and scared and was getting more so every time she kept pointing out that it wasn't his fault. Tentatively she put her left arm around his shoulder. He turned and put his arms around her middle. She wrapped her right arm around him and tried her best to be comforting. The only man she gave hugs to was Sheldon and while she suspected that he liked the contact deep down, he never reciprocated. Howard, on the other hand, clung to her, seeking her comfort. They stayed locked in their embrace until Howard pulled back, noticing the time.

"They're gonna be here in under two hours." A smile flickered at his mouth. "I can't see Sheldon being happy if we're not ready."

"No. Go and shower first, I have an email to finish up."

Wow. Just... wow. He looked like he'd gotten a tan, his skin was so dark with bruises. He touched his stomach. It was numb. It was actually numb with all the abuse he'd suffered. He looked at his sides. Bruising. He looked at his arms. Scratches. He looked at his left leg. A bruise. And he had a cut on his face and neck where one of her nails had cut into him. Even his dad hadn't wounded him like this. Mainly because he'd just swing and wouldn't go after him if he ran from him. He forced the memories to go away and climbed into the shower.

Torture. Amy had placed it so it was on the gentlest setting and was nearly cold but his skin was being hyper-sensitive and every drop that hit his skin felt like a drop of acid burrowing its way into his body. He gritted his teeth and was as quick as he could but was cringing and breathing deeply by the time he got out. He'd been shown where the spare towels were kept and after trying to dab himself dry and feeling as though he was pressing hot metal on his body, he decided to just cram himself inside his clothes while still damp. He'd gotten his loose-ish long denim shorts and a white T-shirt, and these were much better things to wear than his skinny jeans and long sleeved shirts. He didn't look like himself anymore, but at least when he couldn't feel the pain as badly he could wear his normal clothes again.

Amy left some bagels for him and went to take her shower. When she came back, she looked in surprise at the uneaten bagels.

"Aren't you having breakfast?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Howard, if you don't eat, your internal organs will wither inside you. Dying of starvation is one of the worst ways to go."

"I know, but I don't want anything right now. Thanks, Amy, I'll eat later."

"OK." She put them back in the cupboard and went to switch on the TV. She found _Scrubs_, which she knew they both liked and they watched in companionable silence until 10AM rolled around. As expected, Sheldon's knock began on the dot.

"He's never going to not knock like that, is he?" Amy said to Howard as they walked to the door. The engineer smiled at her, remembering Sheldon's exaggerated story of how she used 'hokum' to attempt to cure him of his 'supposed obsessive compulsive disorder'.

"Hey." Penny greeted. She was holding Leonard's hand and both were looking very peaceful. Glancing at Amy, Howard saw she was looking rather dreamily at Sheldon who was looking quite happy to see her. The Jewish man began to suspect he'd missed out on something.

"You didn't drink your tea." Sheldon accused the non-doctor.

"I'm sorry. It wasn't intended."

"Alright . Has Raj contacted you two?"

"Yes." Amy answered.

"Is he coming?"

"Yeah, 10:30."

"What?! That's too late. Why isn't he coming earlier?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask." Amy responded.

"Has, um.. Bernadette called or..." Penny asked.

"No." Howard replied. "I don't know if there's a protocol for this kind of thing, so..."

His cell buzzed. Oh, crap. Mike Rostenkowski. He answered it and after Penny hissed "Loudspeaker!" placed it on loudspeaker.

"Where the hell are you?"

"I'm...at a friends'."

"My daughter is devastated! She thinks her marriage is over."

"I'm sorry?"

"She came over last night and she was so upset we couldn't get any sense out of her. So what, she hits you a couple of times? Get over it!"

"Sir..."

"Where is he?" Bernadette whispered in the background.

"He says he's at a friends'."

"Who?"

"Don't say." Leonard mouthed.

"Who're you with?"

"Um.."

"Say you're at one of your fellow engineer's places."

"I'm at Nico Hammel's."

"Get your ass to Bernadette, right now!"

"I can't."

"Why?"

"It's not like she's occasionally throwing punches. She's...really angry and I can't go back to her unless I know she's going to be calmer."

"WHAT? Who the hell do you think you are..."

"Hey!" Penny had had enough now. "Back off, you don't know what's happened to him, you old jackass!"

"Penny?!" Bernadette shrieked incredulously in the background. Howard hung up.

There was a growing silence until Penny couldn't control herself anymore.

"I'm sorry! I just got mad."

"It's OK. Umm... Yeah, he's gonna kill me when he next sees me."

"Sorry."

KNOCK! KNOCK!

"I bet that's Raj." Sheldon muttered looking at his pocket watch. Penny gave it a withering look. "Look at that," the physicist scoffed. "Four minutes late. Amy, I strongly recommend you implement a Strike System..."

"Oh!" Amy said, surprised. "Priya!"

Everybody's head darted towards the door. Yes. Clear as day, there was the Indian woman, who looked very uncomfortable, especially as Penny's eyes were burning into her like lasers.

"Hello. Rajesh said..."

"Yes, Raj said he'd be here at 10:30, not 10:34." Sheldon completed her sentence for her.

"Sorry, dude, the traffic was bad." Raj explained, stepping in, lightly pushing his little sister in front of him. His coffee-brown eyes widened at his best friend. "What happened to you?!"

Howard wouldn't be ashamed to tell Raj, but Priya? He barely knew her! How could he explain in front of her?

"Why is _she_ here?" Penny growled.

"Her fiancé. Look, she's here for support, he wasn't very nice and she doesn't want trouble." He placed a hand on her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around herself. Penny looked a little more sympathetic.

"Was he.. hurting you?" Howard asked.

"He did."

The knowledge that Priya had been through what he had gave him the courage to admit to Raj why it had been important for him to get to Amy's.

"I've left Bernie."

"Oh, dude, I'm sorry. How bad was it?"

"It was pretty bad. She was angry because I told you guys about the false pregnancy. I still maintain it wasn't her fault!"

"Why?" Priya was looking very confused at him. She didn't blame herself for her fiancé, so she didn't see how it was his fault that his wife hurt him.

"Well, I should've waited till she was ready."

"That's ridiculous. Mummy had a false pregnancy when I was 6 and she didn't hurt Daddy for telling people before she did." Raj nodded in agreement.

"Bernadette wasn't like this before we got married. I must have done something!"

"Oh, Lord! Did it never occur to you that she is only _now_ showing her true colours?"

"What are you trying to say?"

As the argument continued with the two, Sheldon whispered to Amy, "I have a feeling one of them will lose their temper." Amy was engrossed in the argument, but nodded.

"What I am trying to tell you is that she has issues and they've been simmering away and now they are erupting to the surface!"

"That's a load of sh-"

"Oh, really? Then how do you explain her beating you with a wine bottle for something as simple as..."

"_You told her_?" Howard stood up and faced the astrophysicist.

"Well, she was upset that her fiancé was a jerk, so..."

"I..I..you..what the hell?"

"I-I'm sorry.."

"Look, it's nothing to be ashamed of..."Priya began, only to be cut off swiftly.

"Nothing to be ashamed of? Getting battered by someone as, let's face it, tiny as Bernadette isn't something to be ashamed of? Making someone as sweet-natured as her so angry isn't something to be ashamed of? Oh, God, can you just imagine the reactions of the guys in my department if they ever found out? Do you know what it's like being a guy getting beaten up by a girl? It's _shameful._ A man will _never _ want to admit to it. You think I like admitting it now? A woman has support, a man has ridicule."

"That's not true."

"Really? You know what my father-in-law said? 'Get over it'. Those were his exact words. What do you think my rabbi would say? What do you think my _mom_ would say?"

Priya didn't know how to answer. Finally, she mumbled, "I don't know."

"I'll tell you. 'What kind of shmuck lets a girl beat him up?'"

"I'm sorry, but it's not your fault and hopefully, I'll be there when you realise it."

"There's nothing to realise."

Priya sat back defeated. This was not the cheerful, somewhat quirky man she knew. That tiny woman had _ broken_ him. Howard sighed slightly at her forlorn expression.

"Look, I appreciate it, but I just don't believe that I'm not at fault. Sorry."

"It's fine. But you are going to see sense one day."

"OK, why don't we something to get our minds off things?" Penny suggested

"There's a showing of the new Batman!" Sheldon announced.

"We've already seen that." Leonard reminded him

"Priya hasn't." Sheldon countered.

"Uh..OK.." The raven-haired woman agreed.

"You're gonna need a jacket, buddy." Leonard informed the engineer.

"Alright, I'll be back in a bit."

Once Wolowitz was out of earshot, Penny looked guiltily at Priya.

"Sorry about your fiancé."

"Yeah, well I got away before things got too bad. It's terrible!"

"I know, right?"

"Hey, good argument, by the way." Sheldon congratulated her.

"Yeah, well I didn't exceed at Cambridge for nothing."

**Was it Cambridge she excelled in? I'm beginning to think it was Harvard...Ah,well. Folks, I'm focusing on Bernadette next chapter, if that's cool with all you guys! Once again, thank you for the reviews, past present and future! Could you tell me if Howard's speech on the shame of a guy being beat up by a woman is offensive? Cos I'm starting to think it is, hopefully it isn't, but I'd like your opinions! Thanks again, guys!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	9. The Rage Comprehension

Bernadette climbed onto her parents' spare bed and curled into a tiny ball. This was all her fault. Her sweet, forgiving husband was probably shacking up with Penny right now. She could almost see it, them kissing, ripping each other's clothes off, their writhing bodies...

She shook herself. She was being silly. Penny wouldn't do that to her and she certainly wouldn't do that to Leonard. Perhaps it was for the best that she didn't know where Howie was. She couldn't trust herself with him anymore. It was just whenever she didn't get her way, she was jolted back in time, her parents screwing up her plans because they were doing something else and needed her to babysit. She was always expected to be the perfect daughter and never disappointed, but she'd hated it. The bitterness she'd often felt at her stolen childhood just crept up on her. The three times she'd beaten up Howard, there had been three points in her younger life that she'd felt completely betrayed by her parents.

The time she'd punched him for example.

_"Where are you going?" Mike Rostenkowski stared in bemusement at his eight year old daughter who was heaving a small backpack onto her tiny shoulders. _

_"I'm going next door to Maxine's, remember? We're having a sleepover and..."_

_"No, darling. You're staying here to look after Joey and the twins."_

_"But, Daddy..."_

_"Now, Bernadette, listen to your father. Be a good girl." Good old Mom, always defending her._

_"But it's not fair. You promised I could go!"_

_"Bernadette! Mind your tone!" Her father thundered. Bernadette sighed softly in defeat._

_"OK. I'll babysit."_

_She'd cried herself to sleep that night, hearing Maxine's laughter through the open window. Joey padded out of bed and awkwardly patted his big sister on the back._

_"Don't cry, Bernie. I'm sorry."_

_That had shut her up. It wasn't her baby brother's fault. It was just Mom and Dad being grown ups. She hugged him tight and then took her 5 year old brother to his bed and tucked him in. She was promised another sleepover with Maxine in the future. It was no surprise when that promise was broken again._

Then the wine bottle incident.

_Bernadette was almost jumping up and down. Daddy had bought a recorder for their TV and he'd offered to record _The Little Mermaid _ for her while she was at school. She'd missed out on seeing it in theatres because her parents hadn't been sure, but after seeing how she'd like to see it, her father had given in. The eleven year old ripped off her tie and skipped into the living room. She was shocked to see how angry her dad looked._

_"Daddy?"_

_"Bernadette, that movie is a disgrace. It has a woman _naked_ in it."_

_"It does?"_

_"Yes. You are not seeing it."_

_"But, you got to and you said.."_

_"Don't contradict me, young lady. You can't see it."_

_She gaped in horror at her father's departing back and glanced at the screen._

_"I've destroyed the tape, so don't even bother looking for it."_

_She burst into tears. He'd known how badly she'd wanted to see it, he knew how he'd promised she could, and the fact he'd done this to her really hurt her._

_"Stop that racket!"_

_Her mother came in and comforted her, but the woman was as adamant as Daddy had been that she would not see it._

And last night.

_"Oh, my God! You failed biology? Ha ha!"_

_She glared at her nine year old idiotball of a cousin and glanced at her parents._

_"You told him?"_

_"We told everyone." Her father shrugged. She spluttered. _

_"Guys! Don't you know how embarrassing it is? I want to work with micro-organisms and I've..."_

_"Calm down, sweetheart. They're family. They have a right to know."_

_"No, they don't. I'm 21 years old, I don't think even _you_ have a _right to know_."_

_"Don't talk to your father like that." Mom scolded._

_Bernadette dodged past her cousin and went to her room. Moments later, eighteen year old Joey looked in._

_"Are you alright, Midget?"_

_"Shut up."_

_He came and sat by her._

_"Come on, Midge. You know what Mom and Mike are like."_

_"That's Dad to you."_

_"I know. I just like seeing that vein pop out! Anyway, you know they can't keep stuff to themselves. Jeez, none of us can. Try and forgive 'em alright? You know what Jesus said."_

_"Didn't know you were all that religious."_

_"I'm not. Doesn't mean I can't follow his teachings."_

_He kissed her forehead and went back to his own room. Bernadette sighed. It was alright for him. He wasn't the one forced to take care of his younger siblings, though he did help out with Joy, Faith, Charity, Peter and Andrew. But he did because he wanted to. She had no choice._

The oldest Rostenkowski daughter rolled over and sighed. She hadn't seen him since the great Thanksgiving fight of yesteryear. Howard had sworn he was never having Thanksgiving with them again. She could hardly blame him, but had managed to convince him to come to Joy's birthday.

Knock! Knock!

Her mother looked in. She had brought her some grapes and soda. She sat by her and set the snacks on the bedside table.

"Are you alright, dear?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Mom."

Her mom lifted her into a sitting position- God, she was strong for a frail woman in her fifties and cuddled her. She really did give the best hugs, despite Howard saying that _his_ mom did. If the smell of Bengay didn't burn your eyes. Oh, she missed him! She started weeping into her mother's chest. Mrs. Rostenkowski patted her daughter's back and kissed her.

"Mom, I really hurt him! I just got so mad and I couldn't stop and now he's gone. I drove him away!"

"Oh, sweetheart. Shh, shh, shh."

When her sobs died down, the woman held her for a short while before talking.

"He's a man. He should be able to take it."

"No. Mom, I once hit him with a wine bottle!"

"You drink?!"

"Mom, listen to me! I assaulted him with a wine bottle and he got really hurt and I think I hit with a lamp last night!"

"What are you saying?"

"I keep hurting my husband. Every time something that reminds me of the reason I missed out on a lot of my childhood, makes me hit him."

"How do you mean?"

"The sleepovers I missed. The times you'd tell people things about me without my permission. The fact you wouldn't let me fit in because I was your 'fragile little girl'. The fact I had to be mom to my own brothers and sisters.."

"Oh, Bernie!"

"It's true! And now he's gone."

She looked at her mother's terror-stricken face and felt overwhelming guilt. She stuffed her feet into her shoes and snatched up her car keys. Only one man could help her now.

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"Midget!"

After sweeping up his little big sister in his customary bear hug, he frowned down at her.

"What's the matter? Is it Wolowitz? I heard..."

"I kept beating him up!"

"Well, that's not cool, but I'm sure if you just apologised and kept your paws to yourself..."

"I tried and failed."

"Oh, jeez. Come on, Midge, let's talk about it."

Joey looked horrified at the end of her explanation.

"Whoa, I never knew! That sucks."

"What do I do, Joe?"

"Well, seeing as Mom probably told Dad, I think you're better off hanging about here till they calm down about it. Then I think you and Midget Man had better go in for marriage counselling, especially if you want it to work out."

"Yeah. I just feel terrible."

"Aw, come on, sis. It'll work out, alright?"

"Alright."

He kissed her forehead and then got up.

"Come on, let's go to Mom and Mike's to pick up your things."

**Did ya like it? Yeh, I personally believe that having a childhood like that can leave a person fairly pissed off, I don't know about you, but that's my belief. Joey Rostenkowski is canon, he's on the TBBT wiki! Ha ha! I'm not sure about Charity, Joy, Faith, Peter and Andrew. They never gave us names for Bernadette's other brothers and sisters, did they? So, was everything good? Was it not good? Review at any time and thanks again for past reviews, they make my day! Peace out!**

**Love Shania. xx**


	10. The Female Decision

"Have you heard from Bernadette?" Amy asked Penny. It was her day off, Howard had snuck off to work before she'd awoken, and Penny was working at the bar. She figured it would be good to hang with her bestie and see if having an alcoholic beverage before night fell really was as cool as it was made out to be in the movies. So far she hadn't found it to be very satisfactory.

"No. Have you?"

"Not a thing."

Penny sighed and set down the glass she'd been polishing.

"I really thought she would've tried to contact us or him, or..."

"She's probably ashamed of herself. Either that or she's moved on from him."

"Come on, she would never do that."

"Yes, but grief can make us do all kinds of stupid things."

"Yeah. Like the time I found my ex cheating on me, I got a screwdriver and scratched the hell out of his BMW."

"That sounds appropriate to do when you find your boyfriend cheating."

"Are you kidding? I should have blown the damn thing up and set our sheepdog on him."

"That would definitely be appropriate."

"Yeah." Penny sipped some soda and opened her mouth to continue talking and then she froze.

"What's the matter?" Amy asked. She turned her head and blinked when she saw who it was. "Wow. Talk of the devil..."

"Amy!" Penny hissed, hoping the newcomer hadn't heard.

"What?"

"Shh."

Bernadette glanced nervously at the two women. Feeling sure that they were judging her, she walked to the bar and tried to act casual. They looked pretty neutral to see her, but she was still terrified.

"Can I get you anything?" Penny asked her

"No, thanks. Is he OK?"

"Well, he's been better."

"I want to talk to him about this."

"Have you tried calling him?" Penny asked.

"No, I should talk to him face to face."

"More like fist to face." Amy muttered. Bernadette looked crestfallen, but still stood her ground.

"Look, you're our friend and he's our friend. We want you both to be happy. But we want you two to feel safe. Do you think he'll feel safe around you now?"

"Honestly, no. But I do owe him an explanation of why I've been treating him so badly."

"What's that?" Penny asked.

"You guys know how my childhood was. Every time that something wouldn't go right would remind me of my girlhood. And then he's in pain and I'm the one who caused that."

"Amy, you work with brains. Is that really possible?"

"Well,there is something called hypothalamic region of limbic system. That is the most primitive part of the brain. It wants what it wants, without conscious or judgement. It makes a child cry when he or she is hungry, in pain, when a toy is taken away. If a child has a healthy relationship with parents, especially the mother, brain pans hypothalamic region of limbic system for health y emotional responses. If not, it stays primitive.  
Often, when parents punish their children, they say "it's for your own good" and "I only do this because I love you." Child doesn't want to think his or her parents would want to harm him or her, so he or or she starts believing in that. Like you did. So, punishment became natural expression of love, affection and care for you. And, due to your undeveloped hypothalamus, you couldn't bring yourself to punish him on more complex and non-violent way, so you would punish him on most primitive way possible. Beating. You loved him so much... that you harmed him. But I'm not an expert. It could very well be something else."

"I know someone who is an expert!" Penny exclaimed. Whipping out her cell, she selected a name and pressed 'dial'.

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"Yikes!" Beverly gasped. She grasped her phone and answered with a breathless, "Dr. Beverly speaking, who is this?"

"Hi, Beverly, it's me. Penny."

"Oh, slugger. Hello. You caught me at a rather slippery time, I'm afraid.."

"Sorry. Look, could I Skype you later? There's a friend of ours who's having trouble with his marriage."

"Friend of ours? Dear, we don't have any mutual friends..."

"No! I meant me and Leonard!"

"Oh, I see. Well, I'm free as a bird tomorrow."

"Great! I'll call at seven, if that's OK."

"Wonderful. Now tell me the problem. Things seem to have dried up considerably now."

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"Why are _you_ here?" Leonard asked in astonishment. He'd heard from Sheldon, who'd heard from Amy that Wolowitz was back, but he had wanted to check for himself. Now he owed Sheldon $10.

"Why wouldn't I be? This is my workplace."

"I know, but I thought you were with Amy."

"I am," Howard replied grabbing a bolt, "but I've got a lot of stuff to do, and no, it can't wait." He picked up a nut and started attaching it to the bolt and then seemed to droop.

"What's the matter?"

Howard held the object out for him to see. After glancing at it, Leonard said the first thing that came to his mind.

"That looks like one of those enlargement rings you can buy online."

"No it looks like a wedding ring. See?"

"All I can see is proof that you came back to work too soon."

"No, I just gotta concentrate." He placed the object to one side and continued working on the satellite he'd been fixing.

"Howard?"

"What?"

"Why did you really come back?"

"Look, if I have to stop doing things as normal, this whole thing is real. If I stay at Amy's doing nothing, I'm only going to reflect on the fact I'm not with Bernie, that Sheldon could end up getting his gravy boat back."

"Think positive, will you? What happened to the man who'd say ''there's gotta be something we haven't tried yet?'"

"He got real."

Leonard realised that there was no use trying anymore. Before he exited the lab altogether, he turned to face him. "You know, that advice got us all out of a lot of trouble before. Try using it one more time."

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Too soon. What the hell did they know? He knew they meant well, but he knew his limits and that meant he was fine to go into work. Just fine. It took his mind off things and that meant work was the right place to be. And they had tried everything. Talking, leaving, apologizing. Nothing worked. And thinking about it hurt, so he'd woken up early and gone to work while Amy was sleeping. It wasn't very polite, but at least he'd texted her once he'd reached his destination, explaining where he was. His cell buzzed. Raj had texted.

_Hey dude. R u comin to L & S's 2nite?_

He considered this for a while and then figured it would be nice to visit them again.

_Yeah_

_Cool. C u l8r_

Just as he got back to his satellite, his cell buzzed again

_Can I give u a lift? U can always hitch a ride back 2 Amy's w/ her and she could drop u off work 2moro._

That would be good, actually. He hadn't been able to concentrate on the road that morning. He texted Amy to ask if she would be OK with it and once she gave him the all-clear, he replied back to Raj to accept the offer.

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"Where's Priya?"

"She's already there. Dude, she's OK if you want to talk about.."

"Raj..."

"I get it, it hurts, but it's only gonna hurt more if you keep it in."

"I don't want to talk about it because it sucks to talk about, alright?"

"Alright, I'm just saying, you can talk to Priya."

"OK."

Going up the stairs, he became very aware of how quiet Raj was. Remembering how the group usually dealt with their friend's problems, he came to a stop.

"Wait a minute. This isn't an intervention, is it?"

"No, course not."

"You promise?"

"I can't believe you would accuse us of such a thing." Raj said, wounded.

"I'm sorry,but this is the sort of thing you guys do." Howard countered as Raj opened the door.

The first thing he saw was the six of them sitting and looking unnatually serious. He glared at Raj.

"You lying jerk. This is an intervention."

"No, it isn't."

"Well, what is it then?"

"It's a discussion." Penny answered. "Not an intervention. Sit down, sweetie."

"Penny has something to tell you." Leonard informed Howard. He didn't look very happy and Howard wondered what had happened.

"We've set you and Bernadette up for a marriage counselling session at seven via Skype."

"Does Bernadette know?"

"Yes. We saw her today and she really wants to eliminate her problem so we found a wonderful psychologist, who is willing to help for free."

"Who?"

"My mom." Leonard answered for Penny.

"Aw, no!"

"Just give it a shot, please. She will help you guys sort this." Penny pleaded.

"I know, but she's his mom."

"Is she good at what she does?"

"Yes, but I read on the internet that female psychologists are more likely to blame the guy if there's relationship difficulties."

"Good Lord, do you really believe everything you read on the internet?" Sheldon asked, looking appalled.

"I understand that you're scared. Counselling played a big part in your parents splitting up. But marriage counselling with psychologists has come a long way since then and my mother's not like other psychologists. Or women." Leonard told him.

"Yeah. So where are Bernie and I gonna talk to her? Our apartment?"

"She suggested a neutral environment. Somewhere you both feel at peace." Amy said to him.

"You can use this place." Leonard offered.

"What about your schedules?"

"We don't have anything planned." Sheldon reminded him. "Provided you end it at 8:30 sharp because that's the time we eat."

"Alright. Thanks for setting it up, guys."

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"I kinda feel bad." Penny confided in Leonard.

"What for?"

"Well, I don't feel bad for getting your mother involved. We had to help them."

"I know." Leonard briefly hugged his girlfriend, not wanting her to feel as though he was mad with her. "I just wish you rang to ask my opinion."

"I know and maybe I should have, but it was my first thought to get help, so I acted on it."

"I see. So what do you feel bad about?"

" I kinda feel we forced Howard into it. He wasn't very comfortable with it at first."

"You didn't force him into anything. You just helped him see what the right decision was."

"Thanks." She kissed him and leaned against him. "I just hope it works."

**An enormous thank you to Mislav, my most loyal reviewer who gave me the info for Amy's explanation of Bernadette's behaviour from the Criminal Minds wiki. Not only has this angel been with me through the chapters, pointing out what's good and what's not, but they've also been a major support. Thank you so much, Mislav :) As usual, all I ask is a review so I know that you enjoyed this chapter. CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM IS VERY WELCOME AND ALWAYS WILL BE ! See you next time!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	11. The Help Neutrality

It had been two days. Two whole days that she had been apart from her husband. Two days of hell. Joey had been supportive and had offered to come with her, but she felt that Dr. Beverly would not want spectators as she helped her and Howard figure out what the hell the problem was. Her parents hadn't contacted her. They were probably angry. She glanced up and saw a familiar mop of brown hair belonging to a figure about to enter Los Robles. She ran towards it. The figure turned.

"Bernie!"

She stopped, breathless. Would it be OK to hug him? She jerkily reached her arms up, worrying that he would back off. He didn't care for any protocol and engulfed her tightly, not wanting to let her go again.

"I'm so sor-"

"Don't. Let's just see what's going on."

He wasn't angry or upset that she could see, but something told her he wasn't forgiving her again until they knew what was up. Still, he offered her his hand and as they walked up the stairs, they felt as close as they had before.

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Beverley looked disapprovingly at the group of people facing her. She didn't say anything, but glared at them for quite some time before clearing her throat.

"What's wrong, Bev?" Penny asked.

"How can I put this delicately?_ Go away_!"

"Mother!"

"This has nothing to do with any of you."

"But.." Penny began only to be cut off by her boyfriend's mother.

"No. Are the six of you married to this couple?"

"No, because we'd all get arrested. Polygamy is illegal." Sheldon answered.

"Exactly. Now please get out of here."

With much sighing and the occasional resentful glance to the older woman, the other six made their way out, leaving Howard and Bernadette alone. Feeling unexpectedly nervous, Bernadette slid closer to her husband and slid her hand in his. He lightly squeezed her hand and looked at his friends' mother, wondering what she'd find.

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"You're listening in on them?!" Priya hissed, glaring at the other 5 who all had their ears pressed against the door.

"How do you suggest we know what they're saying?" Raj hissed back

Priya sighed heavily and took a place by Amy. She was pretty curious to hear what was being said too.

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"Alright." Beverley shot the couple a piercing look. She'd counselled people before on their marriages and the last thing she wanted was an oversensitive pair who would either be offended or hurt by everything she said. Her son had told her that the blonde woman thought she'd figured it out, but wanted to be absolutely sure.

"Yes?" the bespectacled woman prompted. Beverley knew it was rude to stare, but sometimes all it took was a heart-stopping glare to get to the heart of things. Today that was not the case. She cleared her throat and continued.

"I hear you've come up with a reason for your outbursts of prolonged violence. What is it?"

"I think it might be connected to my 'childhood'."

"Oh, yes, I rmemeber now. Dear, were you beaten as a child?"

"No. Not really."

"Were you or weren't you? 'Not really' doesn't make a lot of sense."

"No, I wasn't."

"Were you?" she directed this question to Wolowitz this time. It was a question she disliked asking the victims of violence. It always ended with sad, sad looks aimed her way.

"Sometimes."

Bernadette bit her lip. _ What the hell had she done to her Howie?_

Beverley leant a little closer to the screen. Very very rarely did it turn out that the abused spouse had been hurt in their childhood. Normally, it meant only one thing, and she was loathe to say it out loud until she knew absolutely all the facts. She opened her mouth to ask the next question, but the tiny woman beat her to it.

"Who hurt you?" she was holding onto his thumb now. She'd wanted to hold his hand, but he'd clasped his hands so tight together that she'd only been able to wrestle his thumb free.

"My dad did." It had been so quiet that only Bernadette could hear it. Regretting having to ask him to repeat, Beverley tried her best to look sympathetic and requested that he say it again so she could hear. On the other side of the door, the other six people, sans Sheldon, looked horrified.

"I never knew his dad hurt him!" Penny whispered.

"Well, I did." Sheldon told her.

"How did you..." Leonard began to ask. Amy lightly elbowed him.

"Shush all of you! I'm trying to listen."

"Hmm." Beverley thought for a moment. If it had turned out that his mother had been the one to hurt him, it would explain how he'd been so reluctant to leave his wife. And yet he had, eventually. But that wasn't the only thing. She was missing something. She just didn't know what, but she knew

" Dr. Hofstadter ?"

"What?"

"Why do you think I'm hurting Howie?"

"Well, a lot of things can stem from childhood. I'm sure you've heard of nature vs nurture. It does sound right, that you'd have sudden flashbacks of bad childhood memories and lash out at the person causing said flashbacks." Noticing the husband's crestfallen expression, she hastily added to her sentence. "Don't feel bad, my dears. It's not as though either of you are intentionally causing the abuse."

Neither of the spouses looked convinced, but they didn't argue. Beverley frowned. Just what was she missing? Then the right question hit her.

"Did you love your father?"

On the other side of the door, Leonard silently groaned. "God, Mom, don't bring his dad up."

"Why?" Priya asked, looking at her ex-boyfriend with confusion.

"Listen and learn." Penny answered grimly. Feeling more bewildered than ever, Priya listened.

Howard felt baffled. Did he? This was a man who'd hurt him, left him and hadn't even shown up at his bar mitzvah. However, his dad had still been supportive of his love of science ( he had done the Mentos in Coke experiment with him thousands of times), he'd taught him how to swim and when he was little and had woken up with night terrors, his dad was always the first one there. _Did he love him?_

Did the bad outweigh the good?

"I..don't know."

"You feel nothing towards him?" Beverley asked.

"I don't know whether I should love him or hate him."

"Well," Beverley tried hard to think of a subtle way to put forward her final questions. Finding none, she decided to just jump in. "Did you ever fight back?"

"No. I was like three feet tall. It didn't occur to me."

"Do you think your father respected you?"

"No." In his mind, he knew for a fact his father had no respect for him. Maybe he loved him a little bit, but respect? God, no.

"Right. Do you think, ah, you may have tried to win your father's respect by taking his beatings?"

Howard began to feel suspicious. Just what was this woman trying to suggest? Glancing at Bernie, he noticed her narrowed eyes, a sure indicator, that she, too, had a suspicion that Beverley was trying to pin something.

But, honestly, yes. His dad had liked wrestling and had gone on about 'what a punch those boys could take'.

"...Yes." he begrudgingly admitted. Bernadette looked at him in shock.

"Howie!"

"I wanted him to think I was as tough like Terry Gene Bollea."

"Who?" Both women asked.

"Hulk Hogan."

"Oh."

"Do you feel that your wife respects you?"

On both sides of the door, everyone winced. Howard because how could he answer that with her sitting right by him? Bernadette because she didn't want to know what the answer would be and the six eavesdroppers because what a God-awful question.

"Yeah."

Beverley wasn't indoctrinated, but she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Why are you asking this?" Howard wanted to know.

"Well, I think you not fighting back against her and your reluctance to leave her could be your own way of redeeming yourself as a man."

"What?"

The two couples and Raj started backing away from the door. Priya didn't notice this until her brother and Amy got hold of her shoulders and yanked her away.

"What is it?"

"My mother is suggesting that the reason Howard isn't full-on pressing Bernadette to get help is because he wants to show how tough he is by taking the abuse."

"What?!"

"Hide, they're coming!" Sheldon whispered, pulling his girlfriend up the stairs near 4B. Looking up at him, Priya was about to ask how he knew, but was hastily yanked up the stairs before she could get a word out. Her brother put a finger to his lips, silently telling her to keep quiet moments before the door opened.

"Where are you going?" Bernadette asked Howard. He stopped dead and turned to face her.

"I don't know. I just want to be alone right now. Can I call you later?"

She nodded in confirmation, but he walked away before she could actually say anything to him. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair and then jumped in alarm as the others came down the stairs.

"Were you guys spying on us?" she demanded.

"No," Leonard replied. "We were..on the roof. There's a constellation that Raj wanted to show Priya."

"Really? Which one, Priya?"

"Um...The Fish?"

"There isn't a constellation called The Fish." the microbiologist rather icily informed the lawyer. "But it doesn't matter that you guys were eavesdropping. Can you believe what she said?"

"I can't believe she said it so bluntly." Penny responded. She put an arm around Bernadette and gave her a hug before pulling away. "Look, you're gonna get through this,OK? Both of you will." She looked over at Leonard. "Try and call Howard."

Leonard fished out his cell from his pocket and dialled. The tone of voice mail answered. "He'd not picking up."

"Really? I thought that was how he answered his cell."

"This is no time for sarcasm!" Amy scolded her boyfriend.

"Hey, how did you know what his father was like?" Priya asked the tall man.

"When you have a parent who tries to toughen you up by using violence you can't not recognize the symptoms in others."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Guys! Where could my husband be?"

"Well, he can't be at his mother's, he won't be going to Temple Beth Sadar because his rabbi doesn't know, he's not a very big drinker." Raj trailed off." Do you know of places, Leonard?"

"Could he be at work?"

Raj scoffed. "No! He's not Sheldon."

"Hey!"

"Well, has he got buddies?" Penny suggested.

"Yeah, but they're not as close as we are." Leonard told her.

"Could he have gone back to the apartment?" Amy suggested.

"I don't think so." Raj informed her.

"The apartment is where...everything happened." Bernadette explained. "What about the mall?"

"He's not a girl. He won't be shopping because he's upset." Penny said to her.

"Does he go anywhere...safe, you know, a safe place?" Priya asked.

"Apart from his old room, no." Bernadette answered.

"I know!"

"What?"

"Despite what Rajesh said, there is a huge possibility that he may be seeking answers from the bottom of a bottle."

"But, he.."

"Seriously, he may be. What we should do first is check Bluetooth and see if here's nearby."

There was a simultaenous BEEP! as six of the seven turned their cells on and a collective sigh of disappointment as the search cam up negative.

"OK. I don't see the point in us trawling the area trying to find him. What we should do is stay here and come up with an action plan until he contacts one of us."

"Fine." Bernadette sighed. "I'd better go. I promised Joey I'd help him do his taxes at half eight. Bye guys."

Both Leonard and Penny gave her a hug and promised to call her if Howard contacted. Sheldon gave her a wave and an attempt at a comforting smile. Amy patted her shoulder and parroted the promise Leonard and Penny had made. Priya tried not to be too distant, but she was reminded of Sanjay. Sanjay who'd almost destroyed her. She couldn't bring herself to be affectionate to someone who'd hurt someone who loved them. Surprisingly, Raj wasn't very affectionate either. He stiffly reciprocated the hug Bernadette offered, but didn't say anything other than "Goodbye".

After Bernadette had gone, they all went into 4A. Once they'd all settled down and climbed into their own sitting places, Sheldon looked at Amy who was biting on her lower lip. He wasn't sure, but he thought that lip-chewing indicated worry. He didn't like the idea of her feeling scared. He jerkily reached an arm around her, reminded of the time he'd been robbed out of his LEGO Death Star building time. This time was different. This time, he wanted to offer her comfort. This time he also had five watchers who all seemed astounded at his action.

"Sheldon, I'm not complaining, but why are you holding me?"

"You look worried. I'm your boyfriend and apparently it is a boyfriend-girlfriend duty to offer consolation if one party is scared or upset."

"Aww." Amy hugged the physicist tightly to her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I don't think it's a boyfriend-girlfriend duty to squeeze each other to death, though."

Amy released him and tried not to smile. He really was the best.

**Oh, my God! I'm so proud of myself. :D So, did ya like it? Mislav, and any other Shamy supporters, this is for you guys! Yeah, I had a bad case of the Inglorious Curse, but I regrouped. I listened to music to do with this topic, namely Pink- Please Don't Leave Me. The music video is SCARY! Now, don't think I'm only gonna be focusing on Howard and Bernadette. Because I won't. I figured out why people aren't viewing this as much ( thank you, America, you've been very interested in this fic and I appreciate that) and the reason is I was only focusing on the pint-sized couple. That was not fair and I apologise to you, 5Mississipis and Mislav and anyone else who likes Lenny and Shamy. Especially as it says it the info box that this fic has Lenny and Shamy in it and so far it's only had one chapter. Well, those days are gone! So, please review so I know if it's good or not, please and hopefully we'll get another chapter up soon, but I'm currently out of ideas so I don't know when we'll see another update. Well, thanks again guys! I OWN NOTHING!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	12. The Rabbi Salvation

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Where the hell is he?" Penny asked. She was voicing what the whole group was thinking.

"I don't know, bestie." Amy answered

Penny got up from her seat near Leonard and began pacing. She walked up and down, until Sheldon snapped.

"Penny, if you're going to walk like a crazy person with an athletically based obsessive compulsive disorder at least take your shoes off."

"Fine."

She started pacing again but then lost heart and flopped down by Leonard. She couldn't sit still and the fact she was so jittery annoyed her, but she just couldn't help it. She was scared and when she got scared she got nervous. And when she got nervous she got jittery, and that annoyed the hell out of her.

"This is terrible." Priya announced.

"Yeah, I know." Amy agreed.

"Why isn't he calling us yet? He should know by now that we're not going to mock him because his marriage is failing." Leonard informed the rest of the group.

"He's probably pissed off. Wouldn't you be?"

"Not if I knew it wasn't true."

"So you're saying," Priya began incredulously, only to be cut off by the clear ring of the telephone. Darting over, Leonard snatched it up and answered.

"Hello? No, we don't want PPI!"

"I hate those guys." Penny muttered.

"Me,too." Leonard agreed, taking his place next to her. She cupped his hand with her own.

"I hope he's OK."

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Howard wasn't a drinker. He wasn't completely teetotal, but out of the seven of them he was one of the least likely to get trashed to soothe his feelings. Yet, here he was. In a park, clutching a bottle of 70% vodka as if it was his first born child, taking swigs of the burning liquid as if it was the only thing keeping him alive.

He wanted someone. Someone who knew what it was like to feel fear and insecurity in their marriage. Someone who'd been through it. Unfortunately, the only person who knew what it was like was his mom and she would be so, so disappointed if he was getting beaten up by a girl. Worse still, she could disbelieve him. She always vocalized her opinions on abuse as being the fellow's fault. Given how his dad had been he couldn't blame her.

Then it hit him. He knew who to call...

He felt woozy as he made his way to his car, but reasoned that there was no way he was too drunk to drive. He'd not had much. It took several goes before he could insert the key into the ignition, but he put that down to nerves. He hadn't seen him in so long.

He couldn't see very well. Everything was blurry. The cars on the motorway were simply streaks of light. Why was everybody going so fast? He tried to ignore the other motorists. He realized he needed to go into the middle lane. He forgot to put his ** ***warning light on. He saw a flash of white light. He heard a deafening noise and then he just blacked out.

What seemed like seconds later, he opened his eyes. There was a pretty lady above him. Judging by her clothes, she was a nurse. Her name was Jenny, her name tag told him. She had his cell and was scrolling through it..

"Why do I call?" Jenny asked. She seemed nervous and was playing with her long black plait.

"J-Je-Jenny."

"Guys, he's awake!"

"Call Goldstein. Please."

His throat felt funny. It felt sore and scratchy. His eyes flet heavy and he blacked out again. Before he fell unconscious, he heard Jenny asking "How does he know my name?!"

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Jon Goldstein had just finished reading a bedtime story to his six year old son. Coming out of his child's bedroom, he was troubled to see the worried look on his beloved wife's face.

"Are you alright?"

"There's a call from the hospital for you. They wouldn't tell me anything."

"Alright, darling. I'll see what it is."

She handed him the phone and went to check on her son. Jon pressed the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Are you Jon Goldstein?"

"Yes. What's the matter?"

"Your son was in a car accident."

"He can't have been. He's tucked up in bed."

"Oh."

"Why did you call me? Did this man say he was my son?"

"No. I just assumed." the woman explained. "Well, maybe you're his uncle."

"What's this man's name?"

"Howard W-oh-low-its."

"Wolowitz, it's...what?"

"Are you his uncle?"

"I'm more than that. I'm his rabbi. Hang on, I'm coming down there."

He explained to his wife what had just happened and gave her and his son a kiss goodbye in case he was out all night and got into his car. He drove like a madman. All the while, he wondered "Why was I called?"

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Howard could feel someone stroking his hair. It felt nice. He opened his eyes and was treated to a bright white glare before seeing the figure by his bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright."

"You're incredibly lucky. All you got out of the collision was a broken arm."

"What happened?"

"Well, you were over the driving limit. And this," the rabbi showed him the bottle of vodka. "Is not water. It's also very unlike you to get drunk."

"I know."

"I can't believe you'd do this. Drinking and driving? You could have been killed!"

"I wasn't trying to kill myself."

"What were you trying to do?"

Howard didn't have an answer. He knew he'd wanted Goldstein there, he knew what he'd wanted to tell him what had been happening, but now he _couldn't._

_"_What's wrong?"

Howard gazed up into his rabbi's calm, brown eyes. "What makes you think there's something wrong?"

"Because, you drank, you drank and drove and the doctors told me that you have bruising. And it's old bruising, so don't blame it on the car crash you had. This is bruising from being deliberately hurt. Now tell me what's wrong."

"Did I crash into anyone?"

"No. Nobody got hurt but you. You crashed into a road-guard."

Howard sighed in relief. At least he hadn't hurt or killed someone. Rabbi Goldstein still wasn't letting up.

"Tell me what's happened." Not a question, but a command.

"ImadeBernieveryangry."

"What?"

"I made Bernie very angry."

"She did that to you?"

Howard gave the tiniest of nods. Jon didn't know what to say. He blinked and he shook his head a couple of times and then he blinked again.

"Rabbi Goldstein?"

"Yes?"

"Don't tell my mom."

"I won't tell her, I promise you."

"Thank you."

"But you should."

"No."

"Howard, look at me. She has to know."

"She'll be ashamed of me."

"Why?"

"Because my wife is beating me up! Wouldn't your mother be ashamed if Rachel was beating you up?!"

"That's different. Rachel wouldn't hit a fly."

"That's true."

" "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.""

"That's about different genders."

"It means the same. A woman and a man should treat each other with respect, love, dignity and patience. Or at least try to."

"Fine. I'll_ try_ to tell her."

"Good man."

He stayed talking to him for several hours and then a nurse came to tell him visiting hours were over.

"When's he out of here?" Jon asked the nurse, once he was out of earshot from Howard.

"Oh, he'll be out tomorrow. We're just making sure he's OK. He gave us one heck of a scare!"

"Yeah, he does that. Thank you, ma'am."

"Goodnight, sir."

**Believe it or not, but Howie really wasn't that drunk. He was _just_ over the limit. I hope Jon Goldstein's quote was OK! I read that the Torah is the first six books of the Old Testament and I couldn't find where the quote came from :/ I'm really sorry if I upset anyone!**

**Oh, and to that guy who was hating on Big Bang Theory? F*** YOU! DO _NOT_ INSULT MY FAVOURITE TV SHOW! I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND FORCE YOU TO WATCH THE WHOLE SIX FRICKIN' SEASONS! YOU HATE - FILLED, TROLLING SON OF A BITCH! GO BACK TO WHATEVER CORNER OF COMEDY HATING HELL YOU CRAWLED OUT OF! AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE SOMETHING, DON'T GO ONTO ITS FANFICTION SITE!**

**GOT IT?!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	13. The Maternal Assistance

**If it's cool with you, I'm calling Mama Wolowitz 'Beulah'. It's a Hebrew name meaning 'married' which is ironic, so it has a neat meaning.**

He had woken up to beeping sounds and inordinately bright light. He wondered for quite some time where he was, until he saw a nurse and remembered the events of the night before. Oh, God. He really was an idiot when he was drunk. He'd always thought Bernadette exaggerated, but clearly she hadn't been. He also had a terrible hangover. He tried to raise his left arm, so he could try and massage the tension in his head away, but it felt strange. Confined. Looking down, he saw the sling and remembered the injury he'd managed to sustain. While wondering how he was going to explain this at work, he was taken by surprise when a nurse popped up by his side.

She tisk-tisked at him. "This is why you should never drink and drive."

"I know." He cleared his throat. His neck felt sore. It would be just his luck if he'd gotten whiplash. "I can go home today, right?"

"Yes, but you should call someone to pick you up. Your wife perhaps?"

"How did you know I'm married?"

"You're wearing a wedding ring." She explained, pointing at his right hand. She smiled sympathetically and bustled off to see another patient.

Great. Not only was he an idiot when he was drunk, but he was an idiot when hungover too. What had he even been drinking last night?

It seemed barely a minute later, he was out of the hospital, clutching his now useless car keys and staring at a name in his contacts list on his cell phone.

Mom.

He'd promised Goldstein that he would try to tell her. And this was the best opportunity that he could see. He pressed down and within thirty seconds he was hearing her dulcet tones for the first time in what seemed like years.

"WHERE ARE YA?" She wanted to know. She'd regaled him with how good it was to hear from him, she'd told him about Phyllis's neck opening again and the fact that she wasn't doing anything today. It really was the best opportunity.

"I'm at the hospital." He quietly admitted, wishing he'd made better choices last night.

"HOSPITAL? WHY? IS BERNADETTE PREGNANT?"

"No." What was wrong with him? His eyes were leaking.

"HOWIE, WHAT'S THE MATTEH?"

How was it that she always knew when something was wrong? He tried to steady his voice before confiding to her just what had happened. "I was in a car accident, Mom."

"WHAT? ARE YOU OK? IS SHE OK?"

"Bernie's fine, Ma. Um, can you pick me up, please? There's something I have to tell you."

"SURE."

There was no way out this time. No way out at all...

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"Have you heard from Howard?" Amy asked. She'd decided to visit Sheldon at work and he'd surprised her by inviting her to lunch in the cafeteria.

Raj shook his head and took a subtle sip from his alcohol flask.

She sighed and stabbed at a lettuce leaf on her plate. Then something caught her eye. Looking up, she smiled.

"Look, Penny's here!"

"What is this? Visit Your Boyfriend At Work Day?" Sheldon wondered aloud.

Leonard pulled out a chair for Penny before sitting down himself. "Hey, guys."

Sheldon watched in fascinated curiosity as Leonard tipped some of his own soda into a cup and handed it to Penny. Penny smiled (he thought) and took a sip. Was this how boyfriends and girlfriends showed affection to each other? He glanced at Amy. Perhaps it would be a good idea to do the same to see if she reacted positively as Penny had. He poured some of his lemonade into his cup and handed the can to his beverage-less girlfriend. She blinked at him in confusion.

"Sheldon, why..."

"I'm given to understand that it is a good thing to offer your girlfirned things such as beverages or the crispy fries you get at the bottom of the box."

"Why didn't you just give her the cup?" Raj asked.

"I prefer the cup. Whenever you drink the can, there's a chance you might cut yourself on the sharp tab." Sheldon explained

"Want to swap?" Leonard asked Penny.

Amy was trying not to smile. "Thank you, Sheldon."

"That's alright. Just try not to lick the tab."

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Beulah looked over and felt her heart sink as she saw the miserable expression on her only child's face. She reached out and cupped his hand with her own. He wriggled his fingers around so he was holding her hand. She nearly smiled. It was what he'd done as a child, whenever he was afraid or tired. She wondered which he was.

In no time, it seemed, they were sitting on the couch, him holding onto her tightly, his face buried into her shoulder. She knew right then, that something was very, badly wrong. Oh, he'd kiss her, but he was not the snuggling-up-with-Mom kind of guy. No, it took something huge, like being told the girl he loved didn't want babies, to warrant this. Eventually, he dis-attached himself.

"What's the matteh?"

He looked at her, then looked away. "Mom..."

"Yes?"

He couldn't do it. How could her? He tried desperately, to think of a way, but his mind failed him. He wasn't aware he was playing with the sleeve of his sweater, until his mother's face went from concerned to horrified.

"Howard! What happened to your arm?"

She knew he'd broken his right arm, but she was taken aback by the deep bloody line etched into her son's arm.

"HAVE YOU BEEN _CUTTING_?"

"No! Of course not."

She pulled up the rest of the sleeve and then noticed the bruising he had on his abdomen where the bottom of the sweater had pulled itself up.

"What happened?" She gasped, surveying the damage with horror.

He instinctively started playing with his wedding ring. His body language was being really revealing today. She figured it out in a flash.

"Did Bernadette do this to you?"

"Yes."

She was overwhelmed. Anger, sadness, horror, pity, empathy...all flew through her, battling to be the dominant emotion.

"Oh, baby." She murmured. She pulled him back into her arms, wishing she could make the hurt go away.

"Are you ashamed?" Howard asked, nervously.

"Of course I'm not! I've been there too, you know."

"I know, but Dad was a man and you're a woman."

She snorted."Some man! A real man never raises his hand to a loved one. He certainly doesn't lash out on an innocent child."

"Ma, did you love Dad?" He'd always assumed she had, but for some reason, he didn't feel so sure now.

"I did. Then he turned out to be a humongous jackass. Honey, unless you raised your hand first or you've both joined a wrestling club, there is nothing you did or ever can do to deserve this."

"I know. That's what everyone keeps telling me."

"Everyone? How long has this been going on?"

"A month and a half."

"Why didn't you tell me first thing?"

"I didn't want you to be upset or ashamed. And it seemed so scary to admit it to you."

"To be honest, I'm more upset with her than you."

"I love her, Ma. I don't want to lose her. And I know she's sorry. She just...can't help it."

"Does she try to help it?"

"I don't know. I think somewhere in her mind, she's thinking 'Don't do it!' but it happens."

"Well, are you having counselling?"

"Kinda. Leonard's mom tried to help."

"What happened?"

"She said she thought I'm taking the beatings to prove myself to be a man."

"Are you?"

"I don't think I am. I hate it when she's mad. It's terrifying."

"I see. Were you really in a car accident or did she do it as well?

"Um...well, um. I kinda got drunk and drove..."

To say his mother was not impressed with this revelation would be an understatement. For 21 minutes he endured lecture on how he could have died, he could have been blown up, he could have been arrested... He knew for a fact she still felt for him, but he also knew she was never going to let him off on drink-driving.

She did help him through his hangover, though. It had died down since he'd woken up that morning, but his head was pulsing thanks to the scolding he'd just received. She made him a gallon of black coffee and got him to lie down in his old bedroom and placed a cool, damp cloth on his head and shut the curtains. He felt like a vampire, but was too tired to complain. He was never drinking again.

"I love you, bubbala."

"Love you too, Mom."

**So, I know as of the end of the sixth season, Raj can talk to girls without downing the good bad-tasting stuff. I'm sorry, I wrote this before that revelation came up. ONLY 24 DAYS UNTIL SEASON SEVEN! If you hear spoilers, tell me ASAP, please? Yes, the conversation between Howard and Mama Wolowitz was all over the place, but my brain is going kerplut, so you'll have to forgive me. Hey, I was having a conversation with 5Mississipis before I left to Paradise and I ask you: Do you think we'll see Mr. Wolowitz ( and not the cute one) in season seven? I mean, think about it, we've seen all of the other's parents and we've had, at best, a glimpse of Mrs. Wolowitz. I love it that they're keeping her a mystery, it's amazing they've managed it all these years, but it'd be cool if we saw him wouldn't it? It'd be like that episode of Fresh Prince Of Bel Air! Anyhoo, my spine is aching, so I must bid you adieu. Reviews are free!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	14. The Reconciliation Commitment

The next day, once his mother finally decided his hangover had truly gone for good, he called Bernadette. When she answered the phone, she sounded as though she'd been crying.

"God, Howie, I've been so worried! Don't do that again!"

"Sorry, I would've called earlier..."

"It doesn't matter. Are you OK?"

"Yeah. You?"

"I'm fine. Where are you?"

"At my mom's."

"Oh. How is she?"

"She's fine."

"Good."

"Will I see you later?"

"Sure. I can't leave work right now, but I'm free afterwards."

"OK. Mom's got her book club at five."

"I'll be over then. Howie?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too. I'm sorry I left you last night. I should've stuck around."

"I don't blame you. I would've done the same thing."

"You would've torn her a new one first."

"Well, yeah."

There was a slight chuckle in her voice, causing him to smile. At least she wasn't crying anymore.

"I'd better go," Bernadette told him. "I'll see you later, honey."

"Bye."

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It had initially felt rather awkward to be eating with her ex. Then she realised that Leonard wasn't upset with her or anything. She watched as he picked up his cell and wondered if Penny had texted him. Brushing it off, she went back to her salad. To her left, Raj also picked up his cell.

"Howard called Bernadette. He's OK."

"Where's he been?" Leonard asked.

"I don't know, but he was at his mother's when he called."

"I wonder if he revealed the problem to her." Sheldon mused, not looking up from his sandwich.

There was a short silence as they pondered this, broken by Leonard's cell pinging. "Oh, crap."

"What's wrong?" Priya asked.

"There's a problem in the laser lab. I'll see you guys later."

"Bye."

Sheldon began staring at them as if trying to remember something?"

"You, know, I remember last night," he said to Raj. "You didn't seem very happy with Bernadette. You were rather closed off to her."

"No, I wasn't."

"Actually, you were." Priya pointed out. "You didn't seem very friendly."

"It's just..." He glanced at his sister and then at his tray.

"Is it that you partially dislike her because your sister was a victim of domestic violence?" Sheldon asked.

"A little. I do like her, it's just..." He sighed. He didn't know how to explain it, the conflicting feelings of liking yet disliking his best friend's wife.

"My mother used to say 'Hate the sin, love the sinner'. Is that applicable?" Sheldon said to him.

"Yes. You could say that."

"Rajesh, Bernadette was always sweet. Sanjay wasn't always. Even Mummy and Daddy weren't too happy I would be marrying him. And you _know_ what they're like."

"What's your point?" Sheldon asked.

"My point is, Sanjay meant to hurt me as a way of controlling me. Bernadette is lashing out as a form of defence. She wasn't always like _that_ while Sanjay _was_."

"I know. I just don't take kindly to those who hurt the ones I care about."

"I know that. Just remember, she needs us too."

"Alright."

She smiled at him and got up. "I'm going to go to the grocery store. You're running low on cereal. And milk. And eggs. In fact, you have no breakfast food."

"OK. See you later."

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_Just left work. Will be ur mom's in 20 minutes. xxxxx_

Howard felt relieved reading that. He wanted nothing more than to see his wife again. He was insanely bored at his mother's. The most interesting part of his day had been calling up his Head of Department and explaining he'd been in an accident and wouldn't be able to work today. It was lucky he hadn't broken his dominant arm. At least he could write or design something. Speaking of the arm, he wondered how he could explain it to the others. Figuring they'd realize the truth when they saw his car was missing (it was in the garage, getting fixed) he decided he might as well fess up if they asked.

Glancing out the window, he recognized Bernadette's grey car pulling up. He walked up to the front door, getting there just as she knocked on it.

"Hey." He awkwardly greeted. He felt strange around her. Like he didn't know how to act, what to say. Was this normal?

She reached up and planted a kiss on his mouth and blinked at his cast."What happened to your arm?"

"It was a car accident."

"Aw." She patted his arm as if trying to heal it. "Can we talk?"

The words stopped his heart. In his experience, those words were never good news. Bernadette saw his look of panic and hastily tried to explain.

"About what she said."

"Oh," Howard said, feeling his heart rate go back to normal. "Yeah, sure."

He let her go in first and followed her to the living room. When they were seated, she took a hold of his hand.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah."

"Are you trying to be tough?"

"No, sweetie. I gave that up years ago."

"I think we should have gone to someone who actually specializes in marriage counselling."

"I agree. Who can we go to?"

"I don't know." Bernadette admitted. "But I think was the wrong person to go to."

"I'm sorry I ran off. I was upset, but I shouldn't have left you when you would have needed me."

"Hey, I don't blame you for that." She kissed his cheek and squeezed his hand tightly. "And I knew you'd need time alone. Besides, I had Joey.."

"What's he been like?"

"He's been really sweet. He's worried, though."

"We all are. I don't want to ever lose you."

"You _won't_. We'll get help and get this thing sorted, OK?"

Looking into her determined face, Howard couldn't help smiling. With her had arrived a glimmer of hope and looking at her, that glimmer grew and grew until it became a glow of optimism. With her, he could accomplish anything. _They_ could accomplish anything.

"OK. What do we do first?"

Beaming broadly at her husband's return to hopefulness, Bernadette realised that even though they'd had a bumpy road, they would sort this. They would be fine.

**No, this is not the end! Do you honestly think I'd do that? No, I'm aiming to do at least three more chapters. Then I've got a little sequel up my sleeve! If there's anything you feel I should add, please don't hesitate to inform me via reviews or PMs!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	15. The Counselor Conundrum

**_Twelve Days Later_**

Bernadette drummed her fingers on her steering wheel. She felt nervous having to face the counselor. The lady had told her she'd dealt with numerous cases with a 95% percent success rate. This was good, she supposed, but _what if she and Howie were in the remaining 5%? _She shivered and pulled her green jacket tighter around herself. Barely had she wondered when her husband would be coming out of work did he lightly tap on the window.

"Hi." She tried to smile, trying to act like she wasn't bothered, but he saw right through it. When he'd gotten himself strapped in, he kissed her and then looked into her eyes.

"It's gonna be OK. We'll make it so."

She smiled genuinely at this. Whenever she had lost hope, leave it to him to bring it back to her. She leaned over the gearbox and wrapped her arms tightly around him. "I know. How was work?"

"It was OK. The guys have finally stopped giving my cast disapproving looks."

"Yeah, well, it'll be off soon." She started the car and felt her stomach twist in fear. Howard cupped her hand in his.

"Don't be scared. She's a professional. She won't be nasty, and she'll do her best for us."

"You're right." She took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled. Feeling better, she shifted the gears into neutral. "Here we go."

**About thirty minutes later**

It seemed barely a second later that they were sitting in the Counselor's office, tightly holding hands. She was running late, the receptionist told them, but she would be in in 10 minutes, so they could wait in her office for her.

"Damn, now I feel scared." Howard whispered.

"Me, too." Bernadette whispered back. "This must be what being sent to the principal must feel like!"

The door opened. A woman walked around the side of them towards the desk. "Hi! Sorry for the wait."

She wasn't what they were expecting. They'd been expecting an uptight, grey haired woman in serious, business-like clothes. This woman was around mid-forties, wearing ripped jeans and a hoodie. She also had blonde hair with streaks of purple in it.

"Dr. Hartland?"

"That's me. You're the Rostenkowski-Wolowitzes, right?"

"Yeah." Bernadette felt their clasped hands loosen. This woman wasn't scary as they'd thought she would be.

Dr. Hartland started smiling at them. "God, you looked terrified when I walked in! Now, let's get to business. I know you said you're going through a rough patch, now what was it?"

Dr. Hartland listened to the whole thing, occasionally taking notes. When one of them became nervous and stopped, she looked up and coaxed the one who'd stopped into continuing. It was little wonder she was so recommended. She was professional, but really friendly and pleasant.

"Now," the older woman said once she'd heard everything, "most of these cases are notoriously difficult to help. These cases make up two percent of the 5% non-success rate. But, the non-successes usually happen because there is no willing for change or that there is no want for help. I don't see that with you two. I can't say anything for sure , but I think you're going to be fine."

**One hour later**

"What are those toys for, again?"

"They're not toys, Howie. They are little sponges that we.. that I have to pull at or squeeze every time I feel mad. The big ones are something to throw around if I get really mad. I have to throw the big one in a confined area in case I hit you."

"I don't think a sponge would hurt, but..."

"It's a precaution. Also, she gave me a list of things to do."

"Like what?"

"Well, she agreed that childhood stress was a huge part of it. She said that if I combat that, I'm looking at saying adieu to the crazy anger I had."

"Awesome! So, what do you have to do?"

"Explain to my parents that what they did wasn't cool."

"Oh."

Howard didn't particularly want to see his in-laws again. But considering Bernadette had braved seeing his mother (who was remarkably composed upon seeing her again, only telling her daughter-in-law that she hoped she got better soon before avoiding her for the rest of the evening.) He decided he might as well offer to accompany her when she went to see her parents again.

"I'll come with you. If you want me to."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me."

"Do I have anything? That I can do to help?"

"No. She said you didn't need anything and frankly, you coming with me to meet my mom and dad is enough."

"OK."

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They were both regretting it already. They'd barely pulled up outside when they cracked and started telling each other wilder and wilder reasons why they couldn't go in. Joey, who they'd brought for support, got out and opened their doors.

"C'mon. I've waited a _long_ time for something to go down between you and Mike and Mom. I'm not missing it. Now, out!"

They took a step back once the doorbell had been rung. Bernadette felt like she was going to pass out. Both her brother and her husband linked an arm around her in case she really did. When the door began to open, Howard took a step back. Joey put his free arm in front of his sister and placed a hand on his brother-in-law's shoulder.

"Don't worry. If things get physical, you've got me to look out for you guys."

Remembering he'd come to support his wife, not to hide behind his brother-in-law, Howard stepped forward again. He rubbed her shoulder to remind her he was still there.

"Bernie?"

"Hi, Mom."

The woman stepped outside the door. Bernadette felt slightly afraid, but didn't step back this time. She was determined to say what she had to say.

"Mom, I always loved my brothers and sisters. But I never wanted to be their mother. That was your job. I just wanted to be a kid. That was all I wanted. You knew, both of you, that I could never say 'no' to either of you. I respected and loved you both too much and you took advantage of that. I saw a counselor today to help save my marriage. And she told me that my childhood is a huge part to blame for what's been happening. I won't let it happen again. He's too important to me."

"I didn't do anything wrong. All children help with their siblings. All children do as their parents tell them. I don't understand."

"I didn't expect you to. I honestly didn't."

"Bernie. I love you."

"Why didn't you let me be a kid?"

"Because I made a mistake. I didn't see it, but you did. Please, just tell me."

"I have! You forced me to babysit when I had other plans, you wouldn't let me do anything that other children were doing and you essentially stole my childhood!"

"Oh, darling." Understanding flooded her face. "I didn't know."

She stepped forward and unhooked her daughter from her sons and enveloped her. "I don't hate you, I just wish..." Bernadette began.

"I know." Her mother soothed. "Bernie, when we were growing up, I was the oldest. I had to do all those things. I remember being upset too. But that was a different time, completely different to now and back when you were born. I should have known that. I'm sorry."

"It's OK."

"Don't make the same mistakes with your children."

"I won't. He'll remind me."

**Yes, I'm evil. Yes, I'm a bitch. I know we all wanted to see Beulah Vs Bernadette. I just didn't know where to put it. On a kinda related note, crappity crip crap! I didn't know how to end. It's all because of the Inglorious Curse that is Writer's Block! Still I managed to do the chapter. Next chapter is on the other two couples and Raj! Also, Bernadette and Howard are going to have some news...Guess it if you can!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	16. The Maternal Finale

**Oh, balls, this is going to be long. Try not to fall asleep while reading it, friends!**

She hadn't really wanted to come. She'd felt nauseous all day, and her breasts were irritating her as they were incredibly sore. And she was bloating.

"How are we today?" Dr. Hartland asked.

"We're better. It's only been two months!" Bernadette told her.

The counselor smiled. "Why are you so surprised?"

"I thought it'd take much longer."

"I've had worse. I can't tell you too much, but I have had some God-awful problems."

"There's just one thing."

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"I can't face his mother. I can't even look her in the eye."

"Ah, that's common. Well, I can only give you this advice."

"What's that?"

"Grow a pair."

"It's easy for you to say, you don't have to face her."

"Seriously, you are going to have to face up to her. It's weighing on your mind, isn't it?"

Bernadette sighed. "Yeah. I just don't know what to do."

"Try and bring your husband up. That should get the ball rolling."

"OK."

"Where is Howard, anyway?"

"He's at a gaming marathon with his buddies."

"Men! They never grow up."

Bernadette smiled at the counselor's joke (at least she thought it was a joke) and began nibbling at her lip. She was terrified at the prospect of meeting her again.

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Beulah was just about to place her brisket in the oven, when the doorbell rang. She sighed and placed it on the side, wondering who it was.

"Oh, it's you."

"Hi." Bernadette glanced down. Oh, God, this was terrifying. She jumped as her mother-in-law's doughy hand touched her shoulder.

"Come in. I'll make you a sandwich."

Remembering what Dr. Hartland had told her, Bernadette loudly said, "I made Howie a sandwich this morning."

"Uh huh." Beulah responded, wondering why her daughter-in-law was telling her this. She brought out the bread and opened the cultlery drawer.

"He likes sandwiches." Bernadette added, wishing she'd said something else.

"He also likes cookies. What's your point?" Beulah stared at her for a moment and then seemed to understand. " Oh. I get it. You're here to tell me what you did to him."

"No! I'm not, I promise."

"Well, why are you here?"

"I want to apologise."

Beulah had located the bread knife and was tapping it against the side. Bernadette felt more nervous than ever. "Go for it. After all, apologies make everything better." She slammed the knife down, making Bernadette jump in fear. "After all, his father was full of 'em!"

"I'm not like him. I never...I never meant to hurt him. I'm sorry."

"_I know_. I know you love him nearly as much as I do, I'm just.. I never thought he'd get into a relationship like that."

"You hate me, don't you?"

"Don't be an idiot. I'm not happy, but I don't hate you." She got down a green plate and placed the sandwich on it. "Make sure to eat your crusts."

_'Maybe we didn't make up in a day,'_ Bernadette thought to herself, '_but neither did Howie and me.'_

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It was very loud in apartment 4A. It was during the spring Hindu holiday season and Leonard had brought Raj and Priya something with beef in it.

"We can't eat this, dude! We told you..."

Priya was trying to calm him down, Sheldon was hiding in his room with his soundproof earphones on and Howard and Penny were watching the commotion before them.

"Look at that, dinner and a show." Howard called over to Penny.

Leonard snapped. "Fine, we'll go and get something else!"

"Was that so hard?" Raj sniped, following Priya.

After Leonard shut the door, the remaining two heard him say, "Nothing ever pleases you, does it?"

"What does it feel like to be able to move your arm around without the cast?"

"It feels good. The best part is, every time I have a beer someone, usually Leonard, lectures me on the dangers of drinking and tells Bernadette to keep the car keys."

"I have no sympathy for you," Penny told him, severely, getting up to go to the fridge. "You scared the crap out of us. Again."

"I know."

"Also," she peeked her head over the door. "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit."

"Must be why you use it so much." Howard muttered.

Penny gave him a sadistic smile and returned with a beer.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

She shrugged and began drinking. When she'd finished, she started staring at him

"What?"

"Hey, did I ever...scare you?"

"What? No!"

"Just...remember I punched you?"

"You've punched Sheldon too." Howard pointed out.

"_Everybody's_ punched Sheldon. Look, _did_ I scare you?"

"No, you didn't. To be honest, I think you were more scared than I was. You really freaked out."

"I didn't think it would hurt you that much. And then there was a crack..."

"Yeah. I know. Were you scared?"

"No. Just I've had guys trying that before. It was on instinct, you know?"

"Not from personal experience, but sure, I know."

"I still shouldn't have sucker-punched you. Sorry."

"It's OK. It's in the past."

She gave him a little smile and continued eating her egg roll. Less than five seconds later, Sheldon came out. He looked very relived to find the arguing had stopped. Picking up his carton, he looked inside and sighed heavily.

"What is it?" Penny asked.

"It's shredded chicken. He got the wrong chicken."

There was a little knock on the door and Bernadette strode in. Planting a kiss on her husband's face, she almost ran to the bathroom, a little white plastic bag knocking against her legs.

"Bernie?" Howard called. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah!"

Hands shaking, she took out the little cardboard box. Whilst she was at Beulah's, she'd run to the bathroom twice to be sick and her mother-in-law had asked her if she could be pregnant. She'd not really thought about pregnancy considering the false one she'd had, but she was displaying more symptoms than she had with the false pregnancy. So she'd gone to the chemist to buy three tests and then to a grocer's to buy a 2L bottle of orange juice. She'd drunk the entire contents in the car to ensure she had enough to test.

After doing what was necessary, she called for Howard. He came in, looking puzzled.

"Honey, I'm all for sex in weird places, but I don't think they'd like it."

"I think we might be. For real."

"You mean..?" He caught sight of the little white sticks. "Oh, my God!"

"Shh! We don't want to attract their attention."

"Oh, right, sure. I bet Penny and Sheldon aren't wondering what's going on."

In the living room, Leonard returned, the Koothrappali siblings behind him, carrying their dinners.

"Hey. Where's Howard?"

"He's in the bathroom with Bernadette." Sheldon explained.

"What's he-"

"YES! OH, GOD, YES! YES!"

The other five people looked at the bathroom door in confusion. Sheldon quietly murmured, "I hope they're not engaging in intercourse."

His statement was answered by the married couple bursting out, waving the sticks in the air. They seemed in their own teeny tiny world. Bernadette pulled Howard down to her level and pushed her lips against his.

"I love you, Bernie!"

"I love you, too."

"Guys, what's going on?" Penny asked.

"Look," he showed her the sticks. "They're all positive. All of them. It's for real, we're having a baby!"

And, once again, the apartment became very, very loud. In the midst of the yelling, the cheering and the appeals to deities, Sheldon Skype-called Amy.

"Hello, Sheldon. Why is it so loud?"

"Bernadette is pregnant."

"That's wonderful." She gave him a little smile

"Yes. It would be nice if that was us, one day."

"You'd like to have a child with me one day?"

"I can think of no one I'd rather have a baby with than you."

At this, She smiled even happier up at him."Thank you, Sheldon."

He turned the laptop around at her request, so she could congratulate the parents to be.

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Later that night, Howard couldn't stop staring at his wife as she slept. She'd always seemed so beautiful to him, but now that she was carrying his child...she was perfect. And even though the baby was just a mass of cells at the moment, he seemed perfect too. It seemed to him, that no matter what happened to him in his life, he would always have these two perfect people. And that was fine with him.

The End

**Wow. It's all finished. I've managed to include things for people and yet I've finished it the exact way I planned. Mislav,** **5Mississipis, you've helped me with this story at times when I was ready to pack it all in. Thanks so much for the help, I'd be lost without you. Imadork121, nertooold54, fortunecookie99, SRAM, RiskKnight, Rachelshamyfan, hokie3457, zhalen565, Captain Quirky, GirlWednesday, shadyatem, and the Guests I've had review, thank you all so much for taking the time to do so.  
Monkeyleaf, I don't know if you're still reading, but thank you for being my first reviewer!**

**There is a sequel coming up, that only a few people know what the plot is. Watch out for it, guys and guyettes! Can't wait to hear from you again!**

**Love from Shania. xx**


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